In one of her videos, Marin offers four ways parents can reconnect with their partner, even when they’re totally worn out from the daily rigors of raising a new generation of humans.

@vanessaandxander

As life brings seasons of chaos and inconsistency, it’s easy to let our relationships fall to the bottom of our priority list. The simplest acts can make the biggest difference! #connection #longtermrelationships #communication #ignitethespark #feelingloved #intimacy #creatememories #trysomethingnew #phonefree Tips for couples Feeling connected Relationship and Marriage 101

♬ original sound – Vanessa + Xander Marin

“Here are four simple things you can do to feel more connected to your partner,” she begins her video. “I’ll give you a little two-for-one with the first tip.”

The first tip is this: a six-second kiss or a 30-second hug, your choice.

“Non-sexual physical intimacy can be a game-changer, especially when you’re feeling disconnected, and research has shown that these two forms are especially effective.”

The second tip?

“Do something new together,” she says. “Our brains light up when we do new things and it creates that sense of closeness and bonding with our partner. It doesn’t need to be anything complicated, either. Go to a new park or a new coffee shop that you’ve never been to.”

Brace yourselves for this next tip: phone-free time.

“Let’s be honest,” Marin says. “Our phones are addicting and distracting.” Truth.

She concludes her video, “And finally, reminisce. Talk about some of your favorite memories together. Your first date, your engagement, your wedding. When life gets busy, it’s so easy to forget about those special moments that helped us feel connected in the first place.”

There you have it! Even after a long day chasing after kids, these practices are totally doable—and worth it.

Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta shared the “three yeses” technique in a TikTok video that promptly went viral because it’s pretty much genius.

@drchelsey_parenting

My fave tool for big kids and teens. #drchelsey #positiveparenthood #positiveparenting #guidingcooperation #conscious parenting #gentleparenting #attunement #neurodiversechild #coregulation #parentingtips #parentcoach #moms #momsupport #family #consequences #adhdparenting #regulationtok #coregulationtok

♬ original sound – Dr. Chelsey HaugeZavaleta, PhD

“My favorite parenting tool for big kids or teens is called the three yeses,” she says in the video, then goes on to explain, “Let’s say your big kid or teen is mad, upset, frustrated, pissed off at you, all the things. Maybe you have an idea of what you should say or what the consequence should be, what they should do differently, or how to fix it. Maybe you even want to lecture them.”

She continues, “Hold up! We’re going to do the three yeses instead. This is not a tool that’s going to fix everything, but it is a tool that’s going to create connection and we’re going to use the connection to help your big kid or teen regulate and then resolve the issue on their own.”

The key, Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta explains, is to get out of your own perspective and see things from your child’s perspective. Then, give them three statements they can say yes to from their point of view.

She gives an example: A family goes on an annual vacation to a cabin with their grandparents and teen daughter, who has always been able to bring a friend, but because of a last-minute change of plans, she couldn’t this year. So while the rest of the family plays board games downstairs, she’s sequestered herself in a bedroom, refusing to play or hang out. Mom is over her attitude and wants to unplug the WiFi, but instead, she goes to the bedroom to try the three yeses. Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta shares three statements she might try:

1. Wow, you really wanted to bring a friend.
2. You do not want to go downstairs and play those babyish games.
3. You’re counting the days ’til we go home.

And then, parents, you get to be quiet. “If your big kid doesn’t respond but you can feel in the air that there’s a shift, great,” she explains. “This builds the connection just a little bit.” If you’ve got it wrong, you should own up to the misunderstanding and try to get it right, which still opens the door. At that point, mom can ask, “Okay, what can we do here?” and put the ball in the daughter’s court. The daughter can then decide if she wants to rejoin the family for a game, take some time to chill, or whatever else, all in a calmer state knowing that her parent has connected with her and supports her.

Another example is a teen boy who fails his math test. While the parent’s first instinct is to jump to giving a consequence or upping their tutoring hours, Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta encouraged her to try the three yeses first, something like this:

1. You were thinking that you could not study and the time you spent in class was enough.
2. Yah, you thought you’d be able to pass that test because historically you’ve done OK in math.
3. You’re kind of embarrassed about this whole thing and the grade.

While the son didn’t have a big reaction in the moment, later that night he came over to his mom and said, “I didn’t know you loved me.” What a breakthrough moment for this mom and her kid, who clearly felt the closeness she was trying to create. Yes, he still failed his math test and they’ll have to figure out how to prevent that from happening again, but now they can do it through a lens of love and communication.

Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta explains that the statements and connection create a foundation: The kids feel heard and understood, and the parent opens a door to communicate so they can reach an agreement and better understand each other.

No, it’s not a magic bullet that will solve all communication problems, but it’s a smart strategy worth trying—and all it takes is three simple sentences.

Melly, who goes by @melly_creations on TikTok, is a former hotel manager and current travel blogger, and seriously, bless her for sharing her expertise with us. In a couple of viral videos, she shared three things she never uses in hotel rooms, and after hearing her explanations, you probably won’t either.

@melly_creations

Replying to @sodickstracted As a former hotel manager here are additional items I won’t use. #hotels #hotelstay #dontuse #advice

♬ Cupid – Twin Ver. (FIFTY FIFTY) (Sped Up Version) – FIFTY FIFTY

The first is Keurig coffee makers. While they may seem like a convenient way to get the caffeine you need while starting your day in a hotel room, Melly says she won’t use them.

“On top of the fact that I’ve seen things other than water being brewed, even though a housekeeper may rinse it out or wash the outside, that tube right there never gets cleaned,” she explained, opening the top of the Keurig to show the tube that draws water from the well into the brewer.

That’s not all, though. The second thing Melly said she’ll never use in a hotel? Refillable bottles of shampoo and other complimentary toiletries.

“People can put anything in it,” she explains. “I’ve seen Nair and God knows what else in there.”

The exception, she explains, are bottles with a locking top that prevent anyone but hotel staff from stocking them. For obvious reasons.

The last thing comes from another video, where Melly says any sort of decorative throw or duvet on the bed goes on the floor immediately. You can probably guess why: they don’t get washed in between all guests. Ew.

@melly_creations

What I do when staying at a hotel. Even though star hotels. they are sometimes the worst with cleanliness. #hotels #travel #traveling

♬ original sound – Melly

In that video, Melly also offers some tips on how to make sure your room is really clean, like checking the air conditioner filter. Oh, and how to check your hotel bed for bed bugs. If you’re not checking your hotel bed for bed bugs, you’re asking for a bad time. Ask me how I know

Dr. Lucie Hemmen made this TikTok video that’s going to comfort a lot of parents of teens, because, in it, she explains that teen rudeness serves an important developmental purpose.

@dr.luciehemmen

#parenting #parentingteengirls #parentingtips

♬ vlog, chill out, calm daily life(1370843) – SUNNY HOOD STUDIO

“If your teenager is hurting your feelings a lot these days, this one’s for you,” she says in the video. “There’s actually a developmental purpose for some of their mean behavior. Being a teenager is the road to adulthood, and one of their developmental tasks at that age is to create an independent identity. In order to do that, they’re often brutal in their methods of separating from you.”

Dr. Hemmen points out that this dynamic can be “especially intense” for moms and daughters, but that it’s “heartbreaking” for parents of all teens at some point during those years.

She continues, “How do you handle it? Well, remember this is a chapter in the book. It’s not your eternal relationship. It will get better. And when they cross the line, you can be short and to the point: ‘Hey, you just crossed the line.'”

And an important teaching moment for teens, she says, is helping them build awareness of how their jabs land because whether they’re funny or hurtful can depend on the mood of the person on the receiving end, and the teen years are a great time to start learning to pick up on those social cues.

Did you know that the average 18-month-old knows around 50 words? The toddler years are an absolutely crucial time for developing language skills and picking up new vocabulary. But that doesn’t mean you should stress about it! There are tons of easy (and fun) ways you can help your tiny human learn new words without going out of your way—just take it from this pediatric speech therapist on TikTok.

@_missmichael shared five tips for parents to help their toddlers pick up more words just while going about their everyday tasks, and you’re going to want to try ’em out ASAP.

@_missmichael

Help build your toddlers vocabulary #toddlerlife #speechtherapy #receptivelanguage #childdevelopment #milestones

♬ Happy Mood – AShamaluevMusic

Tip No. 1? You can probably guess it: Read to your little.

“Books, books, books, books,” @_missmichael says. “Read to your babies. You can start at birth.”

She continues, “No. 2: Narrate or sportscast. This doesn’t require you to take any time out of your day. While you’re doing a thing, you’re just talking about it.”

She gives an example: “Let’s go change your diaper. Lift up your legs. I see your toes! Here comes a cold wipe.”

Tip No. 3 is another simple one: “Following directions by helping you find things and giving you things.” For example, when you’re looking for something around your house, ask your toddler where it is and have them join in the search. Or, when you’re clearing off the table, involve them by asking, “Can I have your spoon?” and pointing to it.

Tip No. 4 is related to that one: “Use gestures and visuals.” As @_missmichael explains, “Point to what you’re talking about. Hold up what you’re talking about. Use sign language or do actions with songs.”

And finally, tip No. 5 is simply to have fun helping your baby learn. Smile and laugh, because, “If they’re laughing, they’re learning.”

All of these suggestions can be incorporated into a parent’s day-to-day routine—and best of all, they’ll make language development both easy and stress-free.

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Hannah Sylcox, COTA shared the tips on her Instagram page, where they quickly went viral.

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A post shared by Hannah Sylcox | Pediatric Occupational Therapy Assistant (@sensoryplay.allday)

Tip number one is a burrito role, and it’s just what it sounds like: rolling your kiddo up tightly in a blanket like a burrito.

“This provides deep proprioceptive input into the child’s body,” Sylcox wrote. “This is calming and organizing to their sensory systems.”

Tip number two is one you can actually do while your kids are rolled up in their blanket burritos: pillow squishes. Just grab a pillow and use it to apply gentle pressure all over your kid’s body while they lie on the floor. According to Sylcox, “This activity provides deep pressure which brings your nervous systems into more of a balanced response/balanced state of arousal. This calms and organizes the sensory systems as well.”

For tip number three, you’ll need an exercise ball. Exercise before bed may seem like a no-go, but Sylcox advises parents to gently rock their kids back and forth on the ball, saying the “repetitive, rhythmic rocking and swaying provides calming vestibular input to the nervous system, helping children relax.”

And finally, tip number four is a simple one: throw your child’s blanket in the dryer to get it nice and cozy and warm just before bed.

“The warmth from their sleeping blankets signals bedtime to them and puts their minds in a calm and relaxed state,” Sylcox wrote.

Is it really that easy? Next bedtime, try these tips out, and see how much they calm down your kids.

Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta posted this video, which starts with a clip of a dad telling his kids they have five minutes before it’s time to leave a bounce house. Right on cue: meltdown.

@drchelsey_parenting

#stitch with @Luke T how to transition with more ease #drchelsey #positiveparenthood #positiveparenting #guidingcooperation #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #attunement #neurodiversechild #coregulation #parentingtips #parentcoach #moms #momsupport #family #consequences #adhdparenting

♬ More Than A Woman – SG’s Paradise Edit – Bee Gees & SG Lewis

“There is a fundamental clash of perspectives between the adult brain and the child brain when you’re trying to transition,” she explains. “This dad is future-oriented. He said, ‘Five minutes and then we’re leaving.’ His language is focused on what comes next. You know what the kids’ brain is focused on? What they’re doing right now.”

The solution, Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta says, is to “work with your child’s brain, not against it.”

“Focus on what they’re focusing on… Instead of ‘five more minutes until we leave,’ say, ‘five more minutes to play,'” she says.

Is it really that simple? According to her, yes! But that’s not her only tip. She has others that she says will make transitions even less likely to result in your child kicking, shouting, and fighting you every step of the way. Another thing parents can do is join their kids to play for the last few minutes. This, she says, helps “deliver the information [that it’s time to leave] in a way that matches their experience of the world.”

“You’ve got to slow way down and you’ve got to shift to their perspective,” she adds.

Some more suggestions: get close to your kids when you deliver what may be bad news, rather than shout it at them from across the playground. And use “melodic intonation.” In the video, she demonstrates how she sings to her kids that it’s time to get in the car.

Of course, there’s no advice in the world that will completely put a stop to meltdowns, because kids are kids. But these tips are a great place to start.

Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas made the video as a stitch with another TikToker who argued that you should always pee when you have the chance, because in life (at least, in the U.S., where public bathrooms can be hard to come by), you don’t always know when the next opportunity will come along.

“Pelvic floor physical therapist here, and I work with a lot of people with overactive bladders, stress incontinence, urge incontinence, the whole nine yards,” Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas explains in her clip. “And here’s why you shouldn’t go ‘just in case.'”

@thepelvicdancefloor

#stitch with @sidneyraz I know it sounds counterintuitive and goes against everything your momma taught you – just out here trying to save your bladder

♬ original sound – The Pelvic Dance Floor

Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas explains that there are actually three levels of needing to pee.

“The first one is just an awareness level that tells you that there’s some urine in the bladder,” she says. “The second one is the one that tells you to make a plan to use the toilet, and the third is kind of the panic button that says, ‘Get me there right now, I’m about to overflow.'”

When we go before our bladders are actually full, she explains, it teaches our bodies to send those “panic button” signals early, meaning we have pee-mergencies when there isn’t actually enough urine in our bladders to fill them up. It makes sense when you think about it. But learning that none of us are peeing correctly is a little bit of a bummer.

“TikTok is basically just a bunch of videos telling me I’m doing life wrong,” one commenter wrote on Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas’ video. “Like Jesus, really? I’m peeing wrong?”

Yep. You are. But the good news is you can retrain your bladder to send signals at the right times. You’re just gonna have to hold it sometimes.

“Researchers found that if you implement this one small thing in your child’s life, they’re more likely to be happy as adults, they have more empathy towards other people, and they’re more successful in their careers,” Williams, who is also a father of five, explained. “Having your children do chores gives them a sense of self-worth, and it helps them to realize that they’re contributing to a larger ecosystem. They become more selfless. They become more willing and able to see the needs of other people around them. Chores also strengthen family bonds with siblings and with parents, and chores help to instill a better work ethic, which translates pretty well into school and career success.”

@tiktokkiddoc

The best way to raise healthy happy successful kids. #momsoftiktok #utahmom #firsttimemom #healthykids #happykids #thrivingkids #howtoraiseakid

♬ Love Of My Life – Metrow Ar

The study that Dr. Williams refers to is an oft-cited one. Researchers from Harvard followed a group of men starting in the 1930s—one-third are Harvard graduates and two-thirds are inner-city youths from Boston—to try to determine psychosocial aspects of their childhood that could predict success and well-being later in life. One of the connections the researchers found was that kids who did chores at home tended to stay out of trouble and get onto better developmental paths. Researchers hypothesized it was because doing chores helped the kids feel a sense of community—that they were pitching in, their participation mattered, and they were responsible for more than just themselves.

It’s important to note that the Harvard study only followed men, so take that as you will. But does that mean you shouldn’t give your kids chores? Of course not! Learning to help out around the house is great for kids, regardless of their age or gender.

Mom of eight Kris Renee said she had to develop a system because her family of 10 (plus two dogs) lives in a suburban house meant for a much smaller brood.

@krisreneeauthor

I’m their mother, not their maid #raisingteens #momofteens #raisingresponsiblechildren #dirtyteenager #teenchores

♬ original sound – Kris Renee Books

“When my children become teenagers and they are of the age that they get to do the fun things—like get a driver’s license and get a car and get their first job and join the after-school clubs and activities and do all of the things—flitting around town, living their best life… In our home, that also means that you have leveled up your responsibility for yourself: for your person, for your possessions, and for your space,” she says. “So, when I notice that their rooms are getting out of control, I let them know, ‘Your room needs to be cleaned.’ I don’t give each one a specific time frame because it’s different [depending] on the child. It depends on what their after-school activities are, what their evenings look like… it might be three days, might be five days, might be seven days, but I give them a fair amount of time to get the job done.”

Once each kid’s time frame is up, they receive a 24-hour notice. At the end of that 24 hours, if they still haven’t cleaned, Renee steps in and does it for them. “I clean. I organize. I dust. I vacuum. I wash their sheets… You know, I just give them a fresh restart—simple as that,” she says. And moms, before you start yelling about how this defeats the whole purpose, there’s more.

“But once I’m finished with that, I make an itemized list of all the services rendered and how much time it took me to perform said services, and I present them with the bill in which they are expected and responsible for paying me for my time and my effort.”

Renee explains that this system works so well, her younger kids only had to see the older teens go through it to realize they didn’t want to have to pay their mom to clean for them.

“Two of my teenagers have had to do this, and once my younger teenagers have watched their older siblings go through it, they’re like, ‘Yeah, no thanks. I’m just going to handle my stuff,'” she says.

What’s especially genius about this hack is that it teaches the kids so many life lessons. There’s the responsibility of chores and time management. But there’s also the fact that other people’s time (including mom’s) has value. As an adult, there are times when I don’t want to do my own chores. But knowing that the alternative is paying a professional is usually enough to make me suck it up and set some time aside to clean. Teaching kids this lesson gives them a nice head start on the realities of adult life.

Of course, not everyone is on board—Renee got some comments from parents who think it’s way out of line to charge kids for services. But considering the kids have a choice, we think this is a great hack.