@the.mama.coach

The trick to better baby sleep? The diaper! You read that right! Let me know what you think and somenof your favourite baby sleep hacks! #newbaby #newmama #sleepybaby #babysleeptips #babysleephacks #babysleep #parentingtips #babytips

♬ original sound – Carrie Bruno RN, IBCLC, MSCP

Her suggestion is simple. She recommends changing your child’s diaper right after a feeding. Before shaking your head, consider her logic: “Most parents look at me like I have lost my mind, but it will help your baby sleep longer stretches. Let me tell you why. If you are using the principles of effective feeding, meaning you’ve watched for those big sucks and swallows and you end the feed before your baby falls asleep, that is helping move feeding away from sleep.” In other words, your baby will stop associating eating with sleeping.

Bruno explains that putting your baby back in their crib or bassinet while awake teaches them to recognize their surroundings. When they wake up after a sleep cycle, they’ll know where they are and (eventually) understand it’s still time to sleep, not get up and eat.

“Imagine if you went to sleep in your bedroom and woke up on the front lawn. It would be very startling. Your baby is the same way. If you feed them all the way to sleep or even to drowsy (stage one of sleep) and put them in their crib, they’ll be startled when they wake. And all babies wake in between sleep cycles. So if you do the extra step—change their diaper and put them in their crib—they might need help, and that’s okay—you shush them, pet their bum, stay with them till they fall asleep, you will see your baby sleep longer stretches,” she says.

Related: Baby Sleep Coach Shares Her Top Tips for Stopping 5 A.M. Wake-Ups

At a certain point past the newborn stage, allowing a baby to fall asleep during feeding causes issues like sucking to sleep association, the inability to self-soothe, and ongoing disrupted sleep for both the baby and the infant, per VeryWell Family. This is why Bruno’s tip is essential: “It teaches your baby to feed when they’re hungry and sleep when they’re tired. I am a huge proponent of changing the diaper after feeds because it makes a difference. So try it. Try it for a few nights and see what happens,” she says. We say, why not?

1. Start with a proper daytime routine.

When you’re focused on sleep, you might forget that your daytime habits also greatly impact everyone’s ability to snooze. “Having a daytime routine, proper nutrition, and adequate activity are all key to helping your baby sleep well at night,” says newborn care specialist Marisa Rodriguez. Any shifts during the day, like a late meal or a lack of stimulation, can all have a negative impact later on.

This means balancing stimulation with rest throughout the day. “Contrary to popular belief, an overly tired baby does not sleep better at night,” adds Alyssa Veneklase, a newborn care specialist and sleep consultant with Gold Coast Doulas. “To make sure they get the best sleep at night, it’s necessary to make sure they get ample sleep during the day in the form of several naps. Depending on the baby’s age, they may need one, two, or three naps per day.”

2. Get familiar with sleep and wake windows.

Another important factor is knowing roughly when your baby naturally wants to be asleep or awake. “Familiarizing yourself with infant sleep and wake windows will help you look for those sleepiness signs more successfully,” says Sarah Short, newborn care specialist and postpartum doula with Gold Coast Doulas.

Veneklase agrees, sharing that clients sometimes think they should keep their baby up later, despite reporting that they noticed their baby getting fussy around 6 p.m. “This is because by 6, their baby was actually getting tired and was ready for bed. Watching for those cues means that the baby is ready to eat, start a bedtime routine, and go to bed for the night, not just a nap,” she says.

Looking out for your baby’s physical sleep cues (like slower feeding, a faraway stare, or losing interest in toys) will give you a better idea of when to get them ready for bed, reducing any sleep issues.

3. Use verbal cues to prep your baby for sleep.

One way to gently let your baby know bedtime is coming is by simply telling them. “If used consistently and at the appropriate time, (verbal cues) can be very effective,” Rodriguez says. “For example, a verbal cue that I use consistently is ‘Happy Nigh-Nigh,’ or ‘It’s time for Nigh-Nigh.’ It lets them know what’s happening and that it’s time for sleep in a gentle and encouraging way.” For babies who are deaf or hard of hearing, consider visual cues or ones that involve other senses.

Related: 6 Baby Sleep Problems & How to Solve Them

4. Set up a proper and consistent bedtime routine.

“Have a consistent bedtime routine. Babies thrive on routine,” Rodriguez says. “It lets them know what to expect and is comforting.” Indeed, studies show that bedtime routines are great for babies and children. Rodriguez recommends starting with a nice, relaxing bath. “Doesn’t have to be a sudsy lather each time, but a warm soak can also do the trick and is a nice distraction during the witching hour,” she says.

Veneklase also includes a full feed as part of her routine. Afterward, she suggests dimming the lights, turning on a sound machine, changing their diaper and/or clothing if needed, and then enjoying some bonding time. “You can sing, read a book, or just cuddle in a rocking chair. As soon as you see your baby start to get drowsy, set them in the crib on their back,” says Veneklase. The best part? “If you start this routine from very early on, your baby is much more likely to be able to fall asleep independently,” she adds.

5. Experiment with a night light.

While studies show that darkness is associated with better sleep overall, every baby is different. Maria Pasquarelli, a newborn care specialist and postpartum doula in Los Angeles, says she sometimes encounters a baby that needs just a wee bit of light. “If it’s completely dark, then it’s harder for [some babies to sleep], but if they can just have a tiny bit of light, it’s easier,” says Pasquarelli. “Red light is good because it’s not as disruptive to our sleep cycles.”

6. Play a little game of shut-eye.

When putting your baby down for bed, Pasquarelli recommends slowly shifting your eye contact away or even closing your eyes to communicate to your child that it’s no longer time for play and connection, but rather for rest. “They have those mirror neurons that are very active when they’re little. So usually if you make a face, they’ll make a face back at you. Or you close your eyes and usually they’ll close their eyes.” she says. Sometimes leaning into this by closing your eyes can help push your babe over the edge to sleep.

Pasquarelli also recommends minimizing eye contact during late-night checks. “It sounds kind of weird and cruel, but it’s not,” she says. “You’re not ignoring them, you’re tending to their needs. You’re just not having those deeper bonding moments that you can have during the day.” Pasquarelli says eye contact is really stimulating for them, so it can wake them up even more. “So if you have to change their diaper or do a feeding, try to minimize eye contact,” she says.

7. And finally, have developmentally appropriate expectations.

Yes, that mom at playgroup keeps boasting about her baby sleeping through the night while you’re struggling through your infant’s third sleep regression. But that doesn’t mean you have reason to despair. “Remember, all babies are different,” Short says. “Oftentimes babies will not sleep through the night until they have doubled their birth weight.”

While a lack of shut-eye may make you impatient (we’ve been there!), odds are your baby will start sleeping better and for longer stretches soon enough. Try some of the tips we shared, and if you’re still having trouble, you can always reach out to your child’s pediatrician for more advice on what might work for your baby.

Day/Night Confusion

Why does your baby sleep all day and want to party all night? One of a newborn’s most common sleep issues is simply confusing daytime and nighttime. This won’t come as a surprise since they’ve spent most of their existence in a dark womb, but there’s more to it.

“Babies experience day/night confusion because their sleep circadian rhythms are not yet developed,” says Arielle Greenleaf, owner and pediatric sleep consultant at Expect to Sleep Again Sleep Consulting. “Newborns also do not produce melatonin, so there is no biological drive to distinguish between night and day.”

Greenleaf says this sort of confusion is most common until around 6-8 weeks, but there are ways you can help your baby figure it out.

What to do:

“Keep daytime bright and at a normal volume, but make nighttime dark and quiet,” she says. “Getting your baby outside into the sunlight during the day is an excellent way to help these circadian rhythms mature, as the ability to distinguish between day and night is driven by exposure to light and darkness.”

And though we’ve all been told you should never wake a sleeping baby (myth alert), Greenleaf recommends waking them every 2 hours throughout the day, especially if they’re sleeping long stretches in the daylight hours. “This will encourage them to both eat more frequently during the day and get more stimulation during the day,” she says.

Related: A Nurse Shares Her Top Tip for Better Baby Sleep

Sleep Regression

A sleep regression is a period in which a baby’s sleep habits change, going from a steady amount of sleep to suddenly sleeping less, waking more (especially at night), and having overall trouble getting their Zzzs, according to Cleveland Clinic.

“It’s most common between 8-12 months but can occur as early as 3 months,” says Dr. Victoria Regan, a pediatrician at Children’s Memorial Hermann in Houston. That said, what a sleep regression looks like overall depends on the child. “Any change in routine, especially if the baby fails to get their nap, may initiate sleep regression,” she explains.

What to do:

These regressions generally last a week or two, especially if you do all you can to get your infant back on track. Just like with day/night confusion, you’ll want to expose your baby to more light in the morning and daytime, darkness in the evenings, and stick to a routine as much as possible (Regan recommends something like feeding, bathing, reading, and then bedtime).

“The other common reason (for a sleep regression) for slightly older infants (8-12 months) is separation anxiety,” adds Regan. “They may fear a parent is ‘abandoning’ them.” This is right around the time when it’s a great idea to help your kiddo slowly develop self-soothing skills.

Teething and Other Pain-Related Troubles

When baby’s got new teeth pushing through, it can wreak havoc on their lives, from feeding and overall mood to that precious sleep routine you’ve established. While they cut their first tooth anywhere from 3 to 7 months, the overall fussiness that teething brings can return every few weeks as more teeth pop out.

What to do:

“Soothe their gums with something cool like a cool washcloth before bed,” says Regan. Additionally, you can offer your baby things to chew on like rubber teething rings, though experts say to avoid ones with liquid in them. Since teething usually comes with a whole lot of drool, it’s a good time to start throwing a bib on your babe and try to wipe their face regularly to avoid a teething rash.

Every baby experiences teething pain differently; some cut a tooth without parents even realizing while others spend a week or two fussing as it comes in. “If [teething] happens frequently, you may need to give medication for pain such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen (only if 6 months or older),” adds Regan. However, she and other experts agree that you should avoid teething tablets, creams, and gels.

Related: Month-by-Month Sleep Tips for the Wild First Year

Pacifier Problems

If your baby uses a pacifier, you may have occasionally noticed that when they fall asleep sucking on the paci, they sometimes wake up once it falls out of their mouth. “This is a very common occurrence,” says Greenleaf. “Many parents share that they are playing ‘paci pong’ all night.”

What to do:

If this happens frequently in your household, Greenleaf says it may be time to ditch the pacifier. “The earlier you can drop the paci, the easier it will be for everyone. As babies near toddlerhood, they become more dependent on the paci and it is much harder to get rid of it.”

Try weaning your baby off the pacifier gradually, limiting it to naptime only, and offering other soothing methods, like rocking them to sleep without it.

Illness-Related Sleep Issues

Having a sick baby is miserable for everyone involved, especially your little squish who has no idea what’s going on. “When babies are sick, sleep can be a struggle—especially when they are congested or dealing with a cough,” says Greenleaf.

What to do:

“I always recommend comforting sick babies however they need to be comforted in order to prioritize sleep,” stresses Greenleaf. She and Regan both recommend cool mist humidifiers to ease nasal congestion and help with drainage. “Suctioning the baby’s nose before bed may (also) provide some relief,” adds Regan.

Sticking to your overall sleep schedule can be helpful here, but Greenleaf advises following their cues and allowing them to rest when needed if they seem to be extra tired during their illness. “But do try to wake them throughout the day to nurse or take a bottle to keep them hydrated,” she adds.

Whether it’s a cold, flu, or a gastrointestinal bug, our experts both recommend working with a pediatrician for further treatment, including determining if further testing or medication is needed to help your little one through their sick spell.

Self-Soothing Woes

You’ve probably spent some time singing, rocking, bouncing, or nursing your baby to sleep—maybe even multiple times throughout the night—but they eventually need to learn to self-soothe so they can get back to sleep without you whenever they wake. This is where sleep training comes into play for some families, though what that looks like will highly depend on your baby’s needs and your family’s approach.

Related: How the 5 Most Popular Sleep-Training Methods Work

What to do:

Whatever you decide, Greenleaf reassures parents that it’s never too soon to try to put baby down into their crib or bassinet awake. This is a simple way to kick off your baby’s new skill set. Go through your nap or bedtime routine (whether it’s feeding, singing, rocking, reading, etc.) and then place baby in their sleep space before they close their eyes. “If they get upset, try some cribside soothing instead of immediately picking them up. Rubbing their heads, patting their bottoms, or simply shushing them can work for some babies,” she says.

Regan adds that you shouldn’t turn on any lights during this soothing process and recommends simply checking in on your baby after around 15 minutes if they still don’t seem to have begun self-soothing in any way.

Additionally, Greenleaf reminds parents not to rush in to pick up their baby if they begin to flail about, grunt, or whine a bit after they’ve started to sleep. “Newborns have ‘active’ and ‘quiet’ sleep. When a newborn is in active sleep it can seem as though they are waking up or even fully awake,” she says. This can even include seeing your baby’s eyes flutter open momentarily. “Many parents assume that their baby is now awake and it’s time to rush in, but in so many cases the parents are inadvertently interrupting their child’s active sleep!”

That said, most types of sleep training aren’t recommended until around 4-6 months of age, and how you go about it is up to you. Evidence shows that gentle sleep training methods work just as well as others, and overall, you’ll probably end up having to train more than once.

“The goal for ‘sleep training’ is to help babies and children learn to fall asleep independently,” says Greenleaf. “The sooner you can help get your baby into their sleep space awake and aware of their surroundings, the sooner you will achieve better sleep.”

What are the risks of placing an infant to sleep on their stomach?

The main reason safe sleep guidelines recommend placing an infant on their back when you put them to sleep is because it reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). “Evidence suggests that when infants are placed on the stomach to sleep, decreased movements and decreased airflow cause an increase in carbon dioxide near the mouth and nose area, potentially causing respiratory suppression,” Dr. Siddiqui explains. By creating a safe sleep space and placing your baby on their back to sleep, you’re significantly reducing their risk of SIDS—knowledge that should help parents sleep better through the night, too.

Some parents think there are risks associated with back sleeping, like their little ones being more likely to choke if they spit up or to develop flat head syndrome (or plagiocephaly). But both are unfounded, according to the safe to sleep guidelines from the National Institute of Health. When babies sleep on their backs, their trachea is positioned above the esophagus, making it hard for fluids to travel against gravity and cause them to choke, whereas on their stomachs the trachea is beneath the esophagus and it’s easier for fluids to make their way to the lungs. Either way, babies very rarely choke in their sleep. Flat heads are also not a concern if your tot is doing tummy time and moving around during the day—plus, they typically resolve themselves.

What should you do if your infant rolls onto their stomach at night?

This is a tough one, because while ‘back to sleep’ is definitely best, babies will start repositioning themselves at some point—and the answer isn’t necessarily to roll them over every time it happens. If your baby has the strength and coordination to roll one way (from back to stomach), they’ll soon develop the ability to roll back over again, at which point you can confidently let them sleep in any position they like after placing them down on their back. You can reposition them if you want, but it’s okay to let them move around in their sleep. Don’t be tempted by products that claim to keep babies positioned on their backs, as they have not been proven safe and may actually increase risk.

“I do not recommend anything in the crib area including bumpers, blankets, sleep positioners, or [weighted] sleep sacks as these could lead to potential suffocation in infants,” Siddiqui says. Non-weighted sleep sacks are fine, she confirms, but any sort of weighted blanket or sleepwear poses a threat to your infant’s safety.

Should you stop swaddling your baby once they start rolling over?

Yes—once your baby is on the move, a sleep sack (or a cozy sleeper and no sleep sack) is safer than swaddling, experts agree. The Safe Sleep guidelines advise that you should stop swaddling your infant once they’re able to roll over, reminding parents that swaddling your baby doesn’t actually reduce their risk of SIDS.

Related: 8 Dos & Don’ts of Baby Sleep (So Everyone Gets More Rest)

Essentially, once an infant can roll onto their stomach, they need to be able to roll back—something they may not be able to do if restricted by a swaddle blanket. The NIH affirms Siddiqui’s view that parents should avoid weighted sleep sacks and swaddles, which have not been proven safe for use. Not only do these products restrict movement, they may restrict an infant’s ability to breathe by placing added weight on their bodies. This is particularly dangerous because infants’ rib cages are still developing in those early months, which makes it harder for them to expand their chests and breathe properly. The best sleep environment for an infant is one that’s basically empty—just your baby in a crib or bassinet, in their pajamas, with nothing else on or around them.

So, when exactly can babies sleep on their stomachs?

There’s no magic age, but most infants develop the ability to roll from their front to their back when they’re between four months and six months old (at which point the risk of SIDS drops significantly). You should still place your baby on their back at bedtime, but once they’ve reached this stage, it’s normal for them to reposition themselves throughout the night. If you’ve created a safe sleep environment that follows medical advice, you don’t need to worry about this movement. We all move in our sleep to find the comfiest position—babies included! The guidelines recommend putting your babe down on their back until their first birthday.

What other risks should be avoided?

While ‘back to sleep’ is the best-known safe sleep strategy, there are other ways parents can reduce risk. In addition to putting babies to sleep on their backs, it’s best to keep them away from secondhand smoke at all times and make sure they aren’t too warm at night, as overheating is thought to contribute to some cases of SIDS. Respiratory illnesses are another potential risk factor, so consider asking visitors if they’ve been unwell recently before letting them get close to your little one.

There are also ways to lower your child’s risk of SIDS by supporting their physical development. “Babies usually learn to roll from stomach to back, and then back to stomach as they become stronger,” Dr. Siddiqui says. “Tummy time is essential in this process.” By practicing tummy time with your baby, you’re helping them develop the core strength and coordination they need to roll safely from their stomach to their back. It’s not just about preventing a flat head—it’s also a safe sleep strategy!

And while bed-sharing isn’t recommended, room-sharing is. The Mayo Clinic suggests having your infant sleep in the same room as you, but not in the same bed, for a minimum of six months. Exclusively breastfeeding your baby (or giving them pumped breast milk) has also been linked to lower instances of SIDS—the longer you breastfeed, the lower the risk is, though the exact reason is unclear.

Sweet dreams for baby and parents

Getting your baby to sleep through the night may be a challenge, but at the end of the day, safe sleep habits are simple: place your infant on a firm, flat surface, avoid loose materials and weighted products, and always remember ‘back to sleep’ when positioning your child in their crib. If you have additional questions, Dr. Siddiqui suggests reaching out to your family doctor for answers and advice. “It’s essential to practice safe sleep practices with all infants,” she says. Talk to your child’s care provider, ask those questions, follow medical guidelines, and know that you’re doing a great job creating a safe sleep space for your baby.

Related: Baby Sleep Coach Shares Her Top Tips for Stopping 5 A.M. Wake-Ups

“Many babies are ready and capable of sleeping all the way through the night without a feed somewhere between four and six months,” says baby sleep coach Katy Bourzikas in a recent TikTok. “But what it boils down to is if it’s working for you or not.” After all, every parent is different and so are their kiddos, so what matters is whether your particular baby is ready to drop the feeds and whether you are, too.

@wellrestedweeones

Follow my step by step plan to independent sleep and sleeping through the night with the Well Rested course. Customizable night weaning for breast and bottle feesing includedz 1:1 coaching available for more personalized support starting at 3 months. Link in bio #babysleep #sleep #sleeptraining #sleepcoach #nursemom #newmom #newdad #tiredaf #tiredmom #baby

♬ original sound – Katy—Baby Sleep Coach

If you’re wondering how to tell when they’re ready, here are Bourzikas’s four signs that it’s time for everyone to sleep through the night:

1. When you offer a night feed your baby treats you like a pacifier.

Sometimes a baby is legitimately hungry in the middle of the night, and other times they’ve just here to use your boobs or bottle as a comfort object. And who can blame them? The first sign that they’re probably not the hungry kind is when “your baby uses [the feed] to comfort suck and falls asleep quickly,” explains Bourzikas. One of the tell-tale signs is that they pass out long before they’ve finished the full feed. Well played, munchkin.

2. They wake up every couple of hours throughout the night.

The baby monitor startling you every one or two hours throughout the night? Your infant is probably not hungry. Bourzikas says that if your baby can’t sleep a solid stretch, “this is usually a sign that they’re using the breast or bottle as a soothing mechanism and are having trouble settling without it.” What they really need is to learn how to self-soothe so they can get back to sleep on their own and finally get those nice long stretches.

Helping your baby to develop good sleep habits is a skill they’ll use throughout their lives. Some good places to start once they’re out of the newborn stage are:

• Develop a consistent bedtime routine that helps them wind down and signals that bedtime is coming—think bath, massage, dim lights, stories, feed.
• Put them to bed at a consistent time each night and wake at a consistent time each morning.
• Put them down sleepy but awake so they slowly learn to fall asleep independently.
• If they wake in the night, wait a few minutes to let them try to self-soothe (sometimes they end up falling back asleep on their own!).

3. They wake up at the same time every night despite eating well during the day.

“If your baby is getting plenty of daytime calories but they keep waking up at the same time every night no matter what happens during the day,” says Bourzikas, “this is likely a habitual wakeup and they don’t necessarily need this feed out of nutrition.” It’s easy to assume that if your infant is waking up at the same time every night to snack, that’s probably when their tummies start to feel empty, but it’s not necessarily so.

You also run the risk of getting into a ‘reverse cycle feeding pattern,’ when your little one starts eating more overnight to help them fall back to sleep and it starts impacting their daytime appetite, which leads to even more nighttime feeds.

4. Baby struggles to get back to sleep after a feed.

When baby stops getting drowsy and milk-drunk after those middle-of-the-night meals, they probably don’t need them. “A feed if truly needed should make a baby fall back asleep and then sleep a nice long stretch,” stresses Bourzikas. “So if you have to support your baby and they really struggle to fall back asleep after a feed, it’s likely that they don’t actually need it.”

And hey, if you enjoy those cozy middle-of-the-night cuddles and feeds, power to you! Just because your baby might technically be ready to drop them, it doesn’t mean you have to. On the flip side, if you can’t wait to night wean, look out for these signs.

But first, a lesson: What is ‘sleep pressure’?

The key to a great nap is understanding the concept of ‘sleep pressure.’ I want you to imagine that all humans (including you and your baby!) have a metaphorical balloon in your head. The moment your or your child’s eyes are open, ‘sleepy air’ starts to fill the balloon, and air is released from the balloon the moment we sleep. When the balloon is taught and full, we need to sleep—or else the balloon will burst. A burst balloon is also known as ‘overtiredness.’ When we’re overtired, it’s tough for us to concentrate, regulate our mood, and fall asleep. Conversely, if we try to fall asleep on a floppy balloon that hasn’t filled with enough sleepy air, we just don’t have the pressure to do so, and in some cases, we get a second wind.

Related: Month-by-Month Sleep Tips for the First Wild Year

The secret to good naps is putting your baby to sleep when the balloon is taut and full, not bursting or floppy. Getting it just right takes lots of trial and error and some troubleshooting, but there are some key things you can do—and not do!—to improve your odds. Here are 6 common mistakes parents make with naps that you should avoid at all costs.

1. Letting Your Baby Sleep As Long As They Want

I get it: “Never wake a sleeping baby” is a very tempting piece of advice to follow, and you’ve heard it from everyone, from your mom friends and mother-in-law to the cashier at the grocery store. But if your kiddo sleeps for too long, it may lessen their internal sleep pressure too much. That ‘floppy balloon’ will almost always mean your child will protest more at the next sleep opportunity if they are not tired enough or, even worse, create early mornings, split nights, or night wakings. Naps lengths will vary based on age, but a good rule of thumb is that if it’s taking your tot longer than 20 minutes to fall asleep, they may have slept too long during the previous nap. For older children, if you are experiencing bedtime shenanigans, it may be time to drop naps altogether (don’t hate me!). On this note…

2. Skipping Naps

If I napped all day, it would definitely impact my sleep. But… I’m not a child. Your kid’s sleepy balloon inflates at a much faster rate than an adult’s, and avoiding naps all day means that your child will almost certainly go to bed with a burst balloon. Burst balloons result in lots of crying, protests, night wakings, and possibly early mornings. Assuming your kid is on an age-appropriate nap schedule (more on that below), don’t skip naps! It will not help your nights (the exception here is older children aged 3+ who may be ready to drop that nap altogether).

3. Wrong Schedule or Wake Window

If a baby is awake too long or not long enough, they may wake early from naps or protest the nap altogether. Try to observe your little one and watch for tired cues like eye rubbing, yawning, or a faraway stare. This will give you a sense of their “wake window,” meaning the amount of time they’re able to be awake before their balloon is inflated and they need their next nap. The timing of naps will vary from infant to infant, so watching them is key! Take note of your child’s natural sleep patterns and establish regular nap times that fit their biological rhythms.

4. Inconsistent Nap Environments

Ideally, and most of the time (not always—we get how parent life works), putting your kid down in a dark, cool room will yield long and luxurious naps. If you find yourself on the go frequently and struggling to put baby down in their room, it may be time to put yourself in nap boot camp for a week and attempt to create some consistency at home. Ideally, night sleep conditions should be consistent with those during the day. Creating a predictable nap environment is essential for teaching good sleep hygiene, which is the habits formed around sleep (for example, your kid’s daily and bedtime routines, sleep aids like pacifiers or loveys, and their sleep environment).

5. Not Addressing Sleep Behaviours and Associations

Sleep associations, like needing to be rocked or fed to sleep or only napping in a moving stroller, can make it hard for your kiddo to connect sleep cycles. A child’s average daytime sleep cycle ranges from 25-45 minutes. If your child consistently wakes after one cycle and cannot get back to sleep, you may need to evaluate how much behavioral assistance you provide. The goal over time is to nurture your tot’s ability to self-soothe, fall asleep on their own, and connect their cycles. Parents should work on gradually breaking these associations by implementing a consistent pre-nap routine, often a condensed version of the bedtime routine, and allowing their children to fall asleep independently by putting them down for naps tired but awake.

6. Following Online Guides Too Closely

This advice may be surprising given that I have an online presence and offer online sleep assistance. However, when I work with clients individually, I always tailor the advice to the child in front of me, not some arbitrary guide, schedule, or number. I recently worked with a client whose baby cried a lot and refused every single nap offered. Needless to say, mom was at her wit’s end. This well-meaning parent had been following an online chart telling her exactly when the baby should sleep.

Working together, the client and I discovered that the baby wasn’t demonstrating tired signs according to the online chart. Simply by observing and following their cues, it only took four days for this baby to go from rejecting all naps to having to be woken up from them! Online guides may be helpful, but if they are not working for your baby, they need a different schedule or wake window. Remember, these resources are just suggestions based on averages, not gospel. So get to know your baby above all.

So there you have it. A little dash of sleep science (sleep pressure) and getting to know your child’s unique patterns is the key to solving most sleep problems—and most of the mistakes parents make with naps and night sleep start here. If you keep these in mind and offer independent sleep opportunities, there’s no telling how long those naps will go. Just not too long, I hope (you can always wake that sleeping baby, I promise).

Here are the most common mistakes I see at bedtime and some easy fixes you can start tonight.

Early bedtimes when baby is used to going to bed late

Many of my clients crave the early bedtime they read so much about or hear their friends raving about, but if your kid is used to dozing late their body just won’t be ready for early sleep (no matter how much you want it to be). If their bodies aren’t ready, you’ll likely see more protesting and funny business until their later bedtime arrives. Some babies will treat that earlier bedtime like a nap and wake up a few hours later. For older children, it could mean several water requests, protests for one more book, and demands for a ponytail because their “hair’s hot.”  

Quick Fix For Tonight: Gradually adjust bedtime in 15-minute increments. This slower transition helps your child adapt and lets their body catch up with the new earlier time. 

Screens at wind-down time

Bright lights—including those from screens—can interfere with melatonin production, making it harder for children to fall asleep. Although your child may seem calm while watching or playing with screens, their brains are going a mile a minute thanks to that extra light and stimulation. Even if the app, game, or show promises ‘easier bedtimes, ’ science says otherwise. 

Quick Fix For Tonight: Dim the lights and turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime. Replace screen times with quiet activities like coloring, stickers, or cuddly book time. 

Ignoring sleep environment factors

Are you trying to put your kiddo to bed in a sunlit room? Are there too many sounds or blue lights (yup, blue lights from a baby monitor or humidifier can illuminate baby’s room without you realizing)? What about room temperature? The ideal sleep environment is cooler than expected, at 62-69 degrees Fahrenheit or 17-21 degrees Celsius. Make sure you know the temperature of your child’s room and dress accordingly.

Quick Fix For Tonight: Ensure the bedroom is cool, quiet, and dark. Use black electrical tape to cover any of the lights cast by electronics like humidifiers and mounted wall cameras. Consider using a white noise machine to drown out house noises and ensure that bedding and clothes are comfortable and seasonally appropriate.

Poor dietary choices before bed

When a kiddo whines “I’m hungry” at bedtime, we’ll do anything to get them to sleep quickly. But what your child eats right before bed can significantly impact their sleep quality. Heavy, rich foods can cause discomfort and indigestion, while sugary snacks can lead to spikes in energy at just the wrong time.

Quick Fix For Tonight: If your tot is hungry before bed, swap out sugary snacks for something light and nutritious. Sleep-inducing options may include a small bowl of whole-grain cereal with milk, a banana, or an egg. Avoid large meals and sugary, caffeinated, or spicy foods within 2 hours of bedtime. 

Messy bedtime boundaries

While it’s essential to provide comfort and reassurance at bedtime, when kids become too reliant on their parent’s presence it can hinder their ability to fall asleep independently (and I imagine if you’re reading this article, that’s what you’re hoping for!). This over-reliance or parental intervention can make it hard for your baby or children to fall asleep quickly without some assistance (eg. patting backs, laying with your child to fall asleep, or unintended co-sleeping). Furthermore, if bedtime boundaries are unclear (the timing, how many books happen during the routine, when snacks are offered, etc), kids will continue to push until they are established. 

Quick Fix For Tonight: Gradually reduce the amount of time you spend with your child as they fall asleep. If you need reinforcements, find a method or professional to help you develop a plan that feels right for your family. And don’t be afraid to set some bedtime ground rules! These might include when lights must be off, how many stories you’ll read, and what happens if they leave their bed after bedtime. Consistently enforcing these rules gently but firmly helps children understand the structure and feel more secure within its confines.

The bottom line? You don’t have to dread bedtime! You can try any of these ideas as quickly as tonight. Having open and clear communication with your parenting partner and child will make these new routines effortless for the entire family. Remember, boundaries and structures feel good to kids. And heck, you may get to start your Netflix binge a bit earlier, too! 

Speaking with Romper, licensed acupuncturist Ashley Flores revealed the secret spot that can help your baby go to sleep. Flores explained that the sweet spot is right between the eyebrows. “Just a really gentle stroking on that point is really calming for babies,” says Flores, “I recommend using a very light pressure. Just a little stroke with the fingertip going down toward the nose.”

The REAL magic? Just 30 seconds (or so) should do the trick to help lull your baby to sleep.

Related: 5 Sleep Expert Tips to Get Your Baby’s Sleep Habits Back on Track

That trick isn’t the only one you can use to help relax your baby. As the Mayo Clinic explains, baby massage can be a useful tool in helping your baby relax and sleep and reduce crying. It’s also a great way to bond with your baby. The Mayo Clinic suggests waiting 45 minutes after a feeding to massage your baby, use very gentle touch to slowly stroke and knead each part of your baby’s body for about a minute each, including your baby’s head, neck, shoulders, upper back, waist, thighs, feet and hands.

Not sure if it’s for you? Check with your pediatrician; otherwise, check out the Mayo Clinic’s tips to get started.

Can babies dream?

Adults do most of their dreaming when they’re in the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep stage, which gets its name from the fact that our eyes move rapidly behind our lids while we dream. While it accounts for around 25% of a grownup’s total sleep, babies spend a whopping 50% of their time asleep in the REM stage.

“Dreaming itself is based on understanding daily life and processing the day’s events,” says Amanda Jewson, sleep expert and founder of Baby’s Best Sleep. “Although babies experience REM, it is unlikely that they dream the same way adults do, if at all.”

Researchers are divided on the subject. Some aren’t convinced that babies can dream like adults because their brains aren’t yet ready to create complex dream scenarios with characters, dialogue, and drama. Unlike adults, babies are still building new neural pathways during sleep, making it challenging for them to have vivid dreams until they’re older and have more life experiences (studies have shown that even preschoolers aged 3 and 4 don’t typically dream). Plus, even if babies did dream, they’re too young to tell us about it, so the whole thing is a bit of a mystery.

Whether they dream or not, Jewson says sleep scientists agree that the role REM really plays at this age is to help babies with cognitive and language development. 

When do kids start dreaming?

The exact age at which littles start dreaming is far from exact and varies from kid to kid, however, research suggests that dreaming is a cognitive process that starts in early childhood. Studies like those conducted by researcher David Foulkes indicate that around the age of 4 or 5, kiddos may start recounting dreams with limited characters, plots, and memories. More vivid and complex dreams are commonly reported as they reach the age of 7 or 8. It’s important to note that individual experiences may vary, and not all kids can recall or describe their dreams by a particular age.

Do babies have bad dreams or nightmares?

Even though they sometimes cry in their sleep, researchers don’t think that babies have nightmares. As parents quickly learn, lots of those little grunts and not-so-little cries are more likely due to hunger, needing a diaper change, the feeling of their food digesting, or some other physical discomfort.

Related: 8 Things NOT to Do During a Sleep Regression

Jewson echoes that it’s highly unlikely for babies to experience nightmares. She says that while many of her clients will claim that their infants are waking in the night because of bad dreams, it’s much more common around the age of 2. Generally, nightmares are even more likely to occur in preschool-aged children and older. 

“Nightmares are usually a fear-based response to the dream itself,” she says. “Young babies are not yet wired to understand that fear. And if they are dreaming, it’s unlikely that a baby’s waking results from a bad dream until after 2.”

Should you do anything if your baby is crying in their sleep or seems agitated?

Jewson says it’s important to understand that the idea of continuous sleep for babies (and adults) is a myth. “Anyone who says they want to sleep like a baby is unlikely to have a baby themselves,” she says. “All humans wake several times overnight. Adults will usually roll over and put themselves back to sleep, but babies may be hungry or require physical assistance to go back to sleep.”

If parents provide certain behaviors to help baby sleep—like feeding, pacifiers, rocking, patting, or cosleeping—Jewson says your baby may be looking for the same behavior to help them fall back to sleep again. 

“This is usually the most common reason for frequent wakings. You should always have a plan to respond, even if you aren’t planning to remove those behaviors. This is especially true if wakings are new and unexpected.”

Other reasons your baby may cry in their sleep include overstimulation, sleep regressions, illness, or teething, which may require a little extra care and comfort. Sometimes these common sounds can even be a normal part of their sleep patterns, and in many cases they won’t fully wake up. If your baby’s crying persists, or if you’re concerned about their well-being, it’s always a good idea to chat with their pediatrician.

Whether your little one is dreaming about the family dog giving them a big lick on the face we just don’t know. What we do know is that all that sleep is helping them to grow and bringing them closer and closer to their first word. Maybe this time it’ll be “mama”!

Make sure to capture your sleeping baby’s little squeaks—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

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What times does your baby wake for the day? #babysleep #sleeptips #tiredmom #sleepcoach

♬ original sound – Katy—Baby Sleep Coach

If your baby starts stirring between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. every morning, their nap schedule is most likely the culprit, and parents should make some changes, Bourzikas says. “If we’re not on top of it, baby gets used to waking up early, their circadian rhythm gets reset, and all of a sudden, we’re in a pattern of 5 a.m. wake-ups no matter what’s going on with the daytime schedule,” she says.

So, what’s the issue? Your early riser is either getting too much naptime or not enough naptime, and both can lead to early morning wake-ups, she says. It’s tricky because this can quickly turn habitual—meaning parents are also rising at 5 a.m. for months. She then offers both an explanation and a solution for exhausted moms and dads.

“You need to monitor how your baby wakes up when they wake between 4 and 6 a.m. Are they bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? Are they tired and fussy? If they’re bright-eyed and cheerful, they’re getting too much sleep during the day, and it might be time to cut a nap. If they’re tired and fussy, they’re not getting enough daytime sleep or they’re stretched too far between naps and bedtime,” she says.

Once you’ve determined whether they’re sleeping too much or not enough during the day, it’s time to fix their sleeping patterns. Bourzikas explains that this part is the most difficult because parents don’t typically spend enough time ensuring their baby goes back to sleep. “They might give them 15, 20, maybe even 30 minutes, but what I found in over five years of working with families is that many babies can take up to an hour to fall back asleep in that early morning. If they’ve gotten into this habitual pattern, you need to sit tight and let them work through it,” she says.

An hour feels like a long time to help a baby fall asleep, especially early in the morning. But, in the long run, a few days or even a couple of weeks of breaking that new circadian rhythm is much better for everyone than months of brutal wakeups, so hang in there and know that it’s not forever.