1. Swim Alone

“Never allow a child to swim alone, no matter how old. This one is definitely at the top of my list of things I’d never let my child do. As a pediatric emergency medicine [doctor], I have seen drowning in children of all ages in all types of bodies of water—deep and shallow,” says Dr. Christina Johns, Senior Medical Advisor at PM Pediatric Care.

Refusing to let your kids swim alone might make you as popular as the Grinch at Christmas, but statistics back up this rule. According to the Centers for Disease Control, drowning in a pool, body of water, or bathtub is the leading cause of death in children aged 1-4 and the second leading cause of death for children aged 5-14. 

Related: 5 Pool Toys a Pediatrician Mom Would Never Buy

The tween in your life might argue that they’ll wear a life jacket, but stand your ground. Life jackets (also called Personal Flotation Devices or PFDs) are (literal) lifesavers. However, if you’re alone, it’s still possible to drown while wearing one. According to CDR Kim Pickens, U. S. Coast Guard Reserve Operation BoatSmart Project Officer, in the article The Other 20%–When Wearing a Life Jacket Is Not Enough, “the more comfortable PFDs—those labeled as Type III or some Type V PFDs—will not turn an unconscious victim face up, at least not consistently. What most such PFDs will do (all but manually activated inflatables) is bring the person, whether unconscious or not, back up to the surface, enabling those nearby to quickly bring the victim to safety.” But that will only work if there’s someone around to get the tween’s face out of the water.

Bottom line: Supervise your crew when they swim, use life jackets in large bodies of water, and make sure the junior paddleboarders and canoers in your life always go out in a group.

2. Go Helmetless

“My child always wears a helmet when biking, roller skating, and skiing to protect her from head injury. As a pediatric EM physician and head injury researcher, I see the very serious consequences of unhelmeted head injuries and am vigilant in protecting my daughter (and her brain) from preventable injury,” says Angela Lumba-Brown, MD, pediatric emergency medicine physician at Stanford Medicine Children’s Health. 

With more than 26,000 children visiting an ER yearly for head injuries, wearing a helmet is a no-brainer. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Wearing a helmet can decrease the risk of head injuries by about 85% and facial injuries by about 65% among bicyclists.” Wearing a helmet is like using a seatbelt. You hope never to need it, but you’ll be grateful it’s there in an accident. 

Children are less likely to complain if their caregivers are wearing helmets too. Adaira Landry, MD, MEd, emergency medicine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Assistant Professor at Harvard Medical School, gets the whole family involved in safety. “We always ride bikes and scooters with helmets. This risk of head and face injury is nonzero for young kids who are still learning balance and speed,” she says.  

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission recommends using specialized helmets. Buying multiple helmets might sound like overkill, but activity-specific head gear “protect[s] your head from the kind of impacts typically associated with a particular activity or sport.” In other words, a bike helmet won’t protect your little hockey hero from a puck to the head. So get the right tool for the job.

Bottom line: As Dr. Landry says, “When it comes to raising adventurous children, there is a balance between excitement and risk. I want my kids to be daring and face challenges—and that can be done safely.” Helmets keep kids safe and are cheaper than reconstructive surgery.

3. Ride Forward Facing in a Car Before Age 3

“I would never let my two-year-old toddler ride in a forward-facing car seat–all babies and young toddlers should be in a rear-facing car seat up until they’re three years old or until they reach the weight and height max of their seat. Despite their cries and protest, keeping them rear-facing may mean the difference between life and death in an accident,” says Alok Patel, MD, a pediatric hospitalist at Stanford Medicine Children’s Health.

Car accidents are the second leading cause of death in children aged 1-4, after drowning. National Safety Counsel advises drivers to keep “…3-year-olds in rear-facing car seats for as long as possible. Once children outgrow the height or weight limit for their rear-facing car seat, they should ride in forward-facing car seats with a harness and tether.”

Bottom Line: Don’t switch to a forward-facing car seat too soon.

4. Get within Reach of Hot Liquids

“When my children were toddlers, I was pretty vigilant about scald burns from hot coffee and soup. I had my antennae up all the time, with my eyes constantly darting back and forth between the child and the hot beverage,” says Alan Schroeder, MD, pediatric critical care physician at Stanford Medicine Children’s Health.

According to the American Burn Association, “In children under five years of age, approximately 27-60% of scalds occur from cups/mugs/tableware containing hot liquids; most commonly from a pull-down (48%) or spill (32%) mechanism.”

Small children lack the lived experience and impulse control to prevent a scalding injury. Add in immature motor skills, and you have an accident just waiting to happen. Young children also have thinner dermal layers than adults and will sustain a more severe burn at a lower temperature. Scald burns make up 35% of overall burn injuries admitted to U.S. burn centers; of that number, 61% are in children under five years old. 

Most of us would never leave hot food or drinks within reach of an unsupervised toddler. But if you have a tablecloth or table runner, Daddy’s coffee is just one pull away. Consider packing these items away until the kiddos are a little older.

Bottom line: The U.S. Fire Administration advises parents and caregivers to keep children three feet away from anything that can get hot.

5. Drive (or Ride on) an All Terrain Vehicle (ATV)

“I’d never let my child ride an ATV (especially without a helmet and full body protective padding, which I see all too often). Unfortunately, very young children, even under 10, operate these vehicles, which can cause major traumatic injury in the blink of an eye,” says Dr. Johns.

We get it; there’s nothing quite as thrilling as racing across a field in an ATV. And it can seem like harmless fun if you keep your little speedster on a deserted stretch of road. But the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that children under 16 not be allowed to operate them. ATVs have killed thousands of kids and seriously injured at least a million more. Adult ATVs can weigh almost 600 lbs; the lightest youth-sized ATVs clock in at a little over two 200 lbs. That’s too much machine for your average nine-year-old to control.

Driving an ATV safely requires the same skill level and quick thinking as any other motor vehicle. If you wouldn’t let your tween drive the family car, don’t let them get behind the wheel of an ATV.

Bottom line: Dr. Johns’ verdict is that ATVs are “Too much of a risk for too little a reward, says the pediatric emergency medicine physician, me!”

Related: 5 Pool Products a Pediatrician Mom Would Never Buy

While there are plenty of educational, social, and creative benefits to digital screen time, care must be taken to ensure that a child’s digital footprint and online activities are age-appropriate and commensurate with their level of maturity and understanding.

The key to developing healthy online practices is having open and frequent conversations about safety and using the internet responsibly—and initiating these conversations early. “Start talking about online safety with your kids at a young age because it gets harder when they are in their teens, and it becomes more difficult to get between them and their phones,” said Yaron Litwin, digital safety expert and Chief Marketing Officer at Canopy, an AI-powered smart filter that helps protect kids online.

Most experts and parents agree that children shouldn’t have unfettered internet access until at least age 10, but that’s often easier said than done, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Despite the challenges of monitoring your kid’s myriad online activities, some behaviors should be strictly forbidden. For a list of internet safety tips for kids, here are 10 things they should never do online, based on their ages.

Internet Safety Tips for Kids Ages 5 to 8

Don’t have social media profiles: Apps like TikTok and Snapchat may be irresistible to young kids because of the fun social media trends like dance challenges and viral music clips they see older kids creating and participating in, but public social media profiles can open up young children to inappropriate contact, harassment or targeting. The expert consensus is for kids to wait until ages 14 or 15 to create public-facing social media accounts.

Don’t talk to strangers: This advice we often give our kids IRL applies doubly so online because of the dangers of catfishing, trolling, and spoofing. Children should never talk to strangers online, even if the stranger seems friendly. Let your child know in an age-appropriate manner that anyone online can pretend to be someone else, and that predators often target children because of their innocence and openness.

Don’t use the internet without limits or supervision: Screen time has increased exponentially in recent years, especially for young children. Kids need to experience a healthy balance between online and offline activities, and parents can help by establishing clear limits on screen time as well as supervising young children’s online activities.

Related: 10 Reasons Why You Need to Teach Internet Safety to Your Kids

Internet Safety Tips for Kids Ages 8 to 12

Don’t give or share any personal information: In an always-on, digitally connected world, privacy can be challenging to maintain. Children need to learn that personal information—whether it’s their own or family member’s personal information—needs to be held strictly confidential and not shared or given to anyone online. This includes full names, home addresses, phone numbers, school names or locations, passwords, etc. Personal information can be used by predators and criminals to track down children or to commit identity theft. Parents also may want to avoid posting identifiable images of their children online.

Don’t meet up with someone you met exclusively online: Whether it’s on gaming platforms like Roblox or Minecraft, or social messaging apps like WhatsApp, it’s not uncommon for children to develop friendships that are entirely virtual; however, even if your kid has been talking to someone online for a long time and they feel as if they know them well, it’s not safe for kids to meet up in person with online strangers on their own. There’s no way to know for sure who they really are or what their intentions might be.

Don’t cyberbully others: Cyberbullying is just as harmful as bullying in person; it can have a devastating impact on victims. Children should never bully others online, and they should report any cyberbullying they see to a trusted adult.

Related: What to Do When Your Kid Wants a Social Media Account

What to Teach Tweens and Teens About Using the Internet Responsibly

Don’t click links or open attachments from people you don’t know: Unwanted spam that arrives via e-mail or text can be annoying, but trojan horses sent via links or attachments from unknown senders can contain malware and other bugs designed to infect your child’s computer or mobile device and steal personal information or worse. When it comes to stuff that comes from an unknown sender, kids should simply delete it.

Don’t download pirated music, movies, or games: While it may be tempting for your child to download “free” pirated materials from the internet, doing so is illegal and can lead to serious consequences. Copyright holders can pursue legal action, and penalties often are severe. Teach your child how to use legitimate sources to download and purchase movies, music, and games.

Don’t post inappropriate content: Older kids may think posting inappropriate content online is no big deal, but they should be taught never to post anything they wouldn’t want their family, friends, classmates, or teachers (not to mention future employers) to see online. This can include photos, videos, or texts that are sexual in nature, violent, or hateful. It’s useful to remind your tween and teen that everything on the internet is forever.

Internet Safety Tips for Everyone

Don’t believe everything you see or read online: Just because it’s on the internet doesn’t mean it’s true or even real. In our current time, when the digital ecosystem is rife with misinformation, children need to be taught to think critically about the information and materials they find online, and parents can help promote digital media literacy by helping our kids understand what are trusted and reliable sources of information and what’s not.

Related: 10 Cyberbullying Tactics Parents Might Not Know About

Marriage and family therapist Emily De La Torre recently shared some phrases parents can use instead that will be way more effective. Children need to “develop body trust, resilience, confidence, and self-regulation” and you aren’t helping them develop these skills by yelling “Be careful!” every five minutes, she explains.

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A post shared by Emily De La Torre (@mindful_madre)

Some alternatives to “Be careful!” as suggested by @mindful_madre:

• What’s your plan here?
• Do you notice how steep it’s getting?
• I’ll be right here as you figure it out.
• Do you feel stable?
• Take your time.

“Do you notice” phrases are also super helpful in directing kids to acknowledge risks and assess them on their own. These would be questions like:

• Do you notice how that side is slippery?
• Do you notice how weak that branch is?
• Do you notice how close to the edge you are?

“The phrases above deepen creative problem-solving and strengthen a child’s sense of self-agency. The more we allow them to problem-solve, the more they can understand the limits of their body,” De La Torre writes.

Overprotective parents, often dubbed “helicopter parents,” prevent kids from developing a true sense of self and leave them without the skills they need to manage situations on their own as they enter their teen years. Recent studies have shown that helicopter parenting may lead to mental health issues in children, including feelings of anxiety and depression. By making helpful, directed comments instead of shouting “Be careful!” we can get our kids to stop, assess a situation, and proceed appropriately. These skills will benefit them as they move through life without constant parental supervision.

Unsolicited Friend Requests

Whether via social media or through an online gaming site, strangers with bad intentions may prey on kids by pretending to be something or someone they are not. This can take the form of an unsolicited friend request that’s designed to create a false connection that can lead to more nefarious behavior. For kids and teens, it’s important to verify friend requests, even if the request comes from a “friend of a friend.”

Phishing E-mails and Texts

The Federal Bureau of Investigation’s 2023 Internet Crime Report stresses that young people are especially vulnerable to the current rise in cybercrime, especially since they’re often less aware of cybersecurity risks. As adults, we’ve become immune to the seemingly daily barrage of spam e-mails or text messages, which often go unopened, deleted, or simply ignored. But for kids and teens who may be new to having a personal e-mail address, every e-mail and text message still feels unique and special. Scammers will exploit this curiosity by sending e-mails or texts that appear to be from legitimate sources, such as popular social media or gaming platforms, schools, or even friends and family. These e-mails and text messages can contain links or attachments that, when clicked, can download malware or steal personal information.

“Legitimate communications will not ask for sensitive personal information or payment details upfront, and they typically come from verified sources,” says Yaron Litwin, digital safety expert and Chief Marketing Officer at Canopy, an AI-powered smart filter that protects children from inappropriate content. Red flags include poor grammar, urgent language, unfamiliar sender addresses, and links that don’t match the legitimate website.

Fake Contests and Giveaways

Who doesn’t appreciate a good deal or an occasional freebie? Truth is, nothing in life is free, but scammers will create fake contests or giveaways using the lure of a big prize—cash, electronics, or access to gaming platforms. These scams frequently require participants to provide personal information or complete a series of tasks for the chance to “win” a prize or receive a giveaway. Except the promised prize is never delivered and personal information is then sold or exploited for nefarious purposes. “​​If you didn’t enter a contest, you probably didn’t win one,” explains Ron Kerbs, founder of Kidas, an AI-powered technology platform that helps keep kids safe online.

Gaming and Quizzes

Similar to phishing, scammers sometimes use online games or quizzes to fraudulently gather personal information from kids and teens. Tactics can include asking location-based questions (Where do you live? Where do you go to school?) or soliciting personal information that can be used to discern other information (What is your favorite restaurant?). Questions and quizzes can show up on social media, gaming websites, or via chats, like on Discord.

Kerbs cautions, “Children are often tricked into purchasing fake in-game currency or items through illegitimate websites.”

Talent Scouting

Kids and teens need to be wary of adults who express too much interest in them online. This can take the form of an adult who claims to be an online talent scout and reaches out directly to a child via social media, e-mail, or text. Posing as talent agents or scouts, scammers will contact young people via social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok, offering to represent them or providing opportunities for auditions or modeling gigs. 

Scammers may even set up fake talent agencies to target young people aspiring to become models or actors, then charge exorbitant fees for services that are never delivered or may require victims to send explicit photos. “Verifying offers through official channels is always a good practice,” says Litwin.

Financial Scams

Many older, college-bound teens will end up on plenty of e-mail and text lists. A growing ruse that scammers use is claiming to represent colleges or universities offering financial aid or pretending to be brokers to capture personal information, then extorting money. Plus, with the rising popularity of cryptocurrency, kids interested in exploring financial investing are being targeted in cryptocurrency scams with the promise of fraudulent financial windfalls.

Online Dating and Romance

Scammers will create fake online dating profiles to target young people seeking romantic relationships. They often build trust over time before asking for money or personal information.   

Increasingly, young boys are being exploited by predators pretending to be girls, who then exploit their trust. Scammers will threaten to release explicit images or videos of a victim if they don’t comply with their demands.

Requests to Meet in Person

Online scammers often create a sense of connection and intimacy with their victims. A common red flag is an online request to meet in real life. Sometimes the scammer will claim to live nearby or know a friend of a friend. They may share personal information, express romantic feelings, or offer support to establish a strong rapport, much of which is untrue. By targeting young people who may be vulnerable because they are lonely, isolated, or experiencing personal challenges, scammers prey on victims’ emotional needs and insecurities to manipulate them into meeting in person.

Related: 8 Solid Parental Control Apps & Safety Programs Worth Considering

So, what can parents do to protect their kids?

• Report online scams immediately. If your child falls victim to a scam, help them by reporting the incident to the service provider (i.e., social media, gaming platform, etc.) or the appropriate criminal or local authorities.
• Change and diversify passwords. If any accounts were compromised, passwords should be changed immediately. Additionally, it’s good practice to diversify passwords rather than using and repeating the same password for different accounts.
• Warn peers. Letting friends and family know about the scam can help prevent others from falling victim.
• Encourage kids to be skeptical. Help your kids recognize red flags and be wary of unsolicited messages or offers.
• Use parental controls. Plenty of tools are available to help you monitor your kids’ online activity.

Most importantly, our digital safety experts say parents should regularly discuss internet safety and digital literacy with their kids to ensure everyone recognizes the red flags for online scams.

“Digital literacy helps kids understand the online landscape,” explains Kerbs. “By developing critical thinking skills and teaching kids how to assess the legitimacy of websites, e-mails, and messages, we reduce their vulnerability to scams. Digital literacy also empowers children to ask questions, recognize red flags, and make informed decisions.”

“I want you to think about these ‘boy crises’ as significant time periods when boys get disconnected from authentic parts of themselves, usually their emotional parts,” he explains. “Prior to the age of five, boys tend to be more emotionally expressive than girls. However, that shifts around that time period, when boys become less verbally expressive than girls do.”

@remasculine

Replying to @Kathie Rose Mashni here’s more detail on the two boy crises! (Thanks for being patient) let me know if you want to hear more. #masculinity #feminism #barbie #kenenough #positivemasculinity #teachersoftiktok

♬ Aesthetic – Tollan Kim

He explains that the somatic markers for emotion in boys’ brains don’t actually change—they just become less verbal. What that tells us is that boys don’t actually get less emotional around five years old, they just start suppressing their emotions at that age. Why? Well, Dr. Kwiatkowski says research indicates this is the age that boys start to become aware that two emotions in particular are less “socially acceptable” for them to express: fear and sadness.

“There’s lots of reasons for this,” he explains. “Some of it is due to implicit bias, as mothers and fathers tend to use less emotional language when talking to their sons as compared to their daughters, particularly about events that might be sad or scary. Some of it can also be much more intentional, though, as parents tend to be much more concerned about their sons being seen as too feminine than they are about their daughters being seen as too feminine” so parents police their sons’ emotions to protect them from bullying and judgment.

That’s why the first “boy crisis” coincides with starting school—it’s when boys are first exposed to social pressure, and when people are likely to begin policing their emotions.

The second “boy crisis” comes about a decade later, when kids transition to high school.

“You have puberty and all the insecurities that come along with that, you have changing social dynamics and trying to posture and fit in, and you also have the start of intimate relationships,” Dr. Kwiatkowski explains. It’s also when kids start to care more about what their peers think than what their parents think. He says many boys this age feel forced to wear a “mask of masculinity” to fit in, even if it doesn’t fit how they feel on the inside.

The good news? Boys grow out of these periods. But during these ages, they may need more emotional support. And it’s always good for parents to encourage them to be emotionally open to help them ride out the turbulence of growing up.

@the.communication.expert

Parenting Tips Parenting Parenting Advice Parents and Kids Parents of TikTok Parents be like teacher TikTok teacher hacks Teachers Back to School bullying awareness bullying advice bullying awareness TikTok fyp #bullyingawareness #parent #teachersoftiktok #corememories

♬ original sound – Professor Hamilton

A neutral message would be a single word like “Nope!” or “Pass!” It is the perfect way to respond without giving them any power because it simply rejects the message but in a simple and non-aggressive way.

Professor Hamilton also provides a great explanation of how the conversation with the bully should go. “I want you to say this. I want you to look them straight in the eye and say, ‘Nope!’ Hold your eye contact for two seconds and then move on with your life. If they come back at you with, ‘Yes, you are,’ then just ignore it. Do it every day until it stops.” Role-playing this interaction with your child will help them build the confidence they need to take on the bully the next time the need arises.

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♬ Last Hope – Steve Ralph

“All it takes is one step into the direction of the bully, and they’ll go ‘hmmmm’… It’s not domineering, nor is it submissive. It is simply a neutral message that does not carry power except to the person who is saying it.”

“If it just says ‘first day‘, that’s not terrible,” TikToker Cathy Pedrayes, a cybersecurity professional, said in her video. But when you’re putting all of the other personal information out there for the world to see, it creates security risks for you, your child, and your family, Pedrayes told TODAY. “Some of them have the child’s name, teacher’s name, school, favorite sports or activities, and maybe you don’t want a bunch of strangers knowing that,” she said.

@cathypedrayes

For parents #backtoschool #safety #cyber #advice #psa #momlife #tips

♬ The Hustle – Van McCoy

“People in general don’t realize how much they overshare on social media,” she continued. “When kids are younger, if you’re posting their school uniform or sports uniform, you’re revealing where your kids are most days of the year. It’s just extra vulnerable information.”

If you want to share pictures safely, there are apps you can use, like Tinybeans (which you can download here), that give you a sense of security as a parent that you’re not sharing with the wrong people.

It’s also a good idea to check your account security settings and customize your controls for any social media accounts you use and on any devices you use them on, Brittnay Clay from cybersecurity company, Lookout, tells Tinybeans. “Almost 1 in 4 people have their Facebook profile settings open to the ‘Public’ – meaning anyone can view and collect personal details from the account,” she said. “Attackers can easily scrape this information from social media posts and attempt to use this information to log accounts or attempt identity theft.”

Law enforcement and other cybersecurity experts agree. “[I]t is not your child’s precious face that’s the problem, it’s what is behind them,” Joe Miller, chief of police at the Palos Park Police Department, told NBC Chicago. “Things like your house number, what your house looks like, your street name, your car, license plate number, or even where your child catches the school bus could be clues those unsavory characters use against you.”

Not only could these posts potentially give child predators (an estimated half a million of which are online every day) information about exactly where your child goes to school and their teacher’s name, but some also include things like their favorite color or animal, which can be used to lure kids into unsafe situations.

While we all want to see little ones and their back-to-school adventures, limiting the information we share feels like good advice—especially if it involves just leaving more of the specific information off these adorable chalkboards.

@the.communication.expert

Would this actually work? #parentsoftiktok #teachersoftiktok #studentsbelike #bullyingawareness

♬ original sound – Professor Hamilton

Enter the “bear tactic,” which gets its name because it’s the same thing you should do if you encounter a black bear in the wild.

“I want you to do this,” she says. “Have him put his arms out wide. Make himself big. Look right at them and say, ‘Do you feel better? I hope so.’ And then slow clap, turn around, and walk away.” She adds, “Chances are, they’ll never do it again.”

And we can totally see why: It would throw the bullies for such a loop. They would have no idea how to respond—the same way that black bears don’t know how to respond when they see you puffing up and challenging them instead of running away. Hamilton has explained in previous videos that “bullies have power when we say they have power” and “the second we challenge the bully, we say that they are powerful.”

@the.communication.expert

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♬ original sound – Professor Hamilton

That’s why she also recommends using a neutral message to combat bullies; when they say something rude and provocative, simply respond with “Nope!” or “Pass!”

I want you to look them straight in the eye and say, ‘Nope!’ Hold your eye contact for two seconds and then move on with your life,” she says. “If they come back at you with, ‘Yes, you are,’ then just ignore it. Do it every day until it stops.” She also recommends role-playing this interaction with your child, so they can build up their confidence before doing it with an actual bully.