1. Consistency is key when it comes to your toddler’s bedtime routine.

Yup, multiple sleep medicine reviews agree that a consistent bedtime routine can have huge benefits for toddlers. We see better sleep (longer stretches, fewer wake-ups, earlier bedtimes), improved development (language, literacy, emotional regulation), and even more positive family functioning. Toddlers love routines and rituals—once they become habit, they’re rarely challenged.

Routines give children structure, reduce anxiety, and remove the “what’s next?” worry at the end of the day. Plus, when your child knows exactly what happens before bed, they’re less likely to push boundaries—because mom and dad are consistent.

2. Visual Bedtime Routines are easiest for toddlers to understand.

A visual schedule is simply your evening routine presented in pictures—think of a chart or sequence of images showing each step. It’s something that toddlers of all ages and language abilities can easily follow.

 

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A post shared by Dr Golly Paediatrician (@drgolly)

The benefits are huge:

• Clear expectations = more cooperation
• Reduced stress and anxiety
• Easier transitions between activities
• Improved understanding of time and sequencing
• A boost in independence and self-esteem
• Support for literacy if you add words to the pictures

Dr Golly especially loves charts that toddlers can interact with—folding up a card, ticking off with a whiteboard marker, or adding a sticker for each step. And remember, these kinds of visual sequences can work wonders in other areas too, like morning routines or even just the steps to getting dressed.

3. Consistency is key, but you’ll also want to keep things upbeat.

Wherever you are and whoever’s looking after your child, the steps of your bedtime routine should be the same. But it’s also super helpful to remember that this shouldn’t be a tense or negative exercise. Dr Golly stresses three ways to keep things light:

Be patient: These are new skills, and toddlers may need verbal and physical guidance at first.
Track small wins: Let them mark off each task with stickers or ticks.
Use positive reinforcement: Praise, rewards, or a star chart can help. Maybe a little prize for one night completed, and a bigger reward for five nights in a row!

4. Dr Golly’s ideal bedtime routine consists of eight steps.

Every family’s steps will be different—some may include prayer, eczema cream, or even small household chores for older toddlers. But his standard routine, which works for most families, goes like this:

1. Eat dinner
2. Bath
3. PJs
4. Brush teeth
5. Toilet
6. Book
7. Kiss and cuddle
8. Sleep (ideally independently)

You can download a free copy of Dr Golly’s Toddler Bedtime routine here.

5. Stick to the same order every night (well, as much as possible—these are toddlers, after all).

The routine works best if it follows the steps in the same sequence each night. That being said, it’s not a disaster if your toddler goes to the toilet before brushing their teeth. Aim for a natural order that suits your household.

6. Avoid screens well before bedtime.

Dr Golly doesn’t recommend any screen time in the two hours before bed. The goal is to keep things calm and help your toddler wind down.

7. When things have gone sideways, prioritize your bedtime.

Both the actual time you put your child to bed and the routine itself matter, but if you have to choose, a consistent bedtime is more important than squeezing in every step of the routine. Don’t push bedtime back just to fit it all in. If you’re short on time, move through the steps a little quicker—without rushing—so everyone stays relaxed.

8. You don’t have to use the visual bedtime chart forever.

Most families use it for a few weeks until habits form. Then it becomes part of everyday life. If things go off track (which is totally normal), you can bring it back out to reinforce expectations.

Want more advice like this?
If your tot won’t fall asleep without you, you’re far from the exception—this is very common. Dr Golly’s Toddler Sleep Program has all the gentle strategies to help your child develop healthy, independent sleep habits, so you can have your evenings back

If you were to take a safari to the landscape of motherhood, moms of middle schoolers and high schoolers would be the big cats—sleek and sure-footed. Moms of elementary schoolers and preschoolers would be the herd animals—finding strength in numbers and able to pivot directions on a dime. And those of us who are moms of toddlers? We’re for sure the monkeys, relying on our silliness and our noise levels to hold our kids’ attentions, and also frequently covered in poo. While it may seem that we lose in the hierarchy of mom life, in reality, we’re the winners. Keep reading to find out why being the mom of a toddler rules—tantrums notwithstanding.

1. Zero Inhibitions. Grocery store DJ playing your favorite song on aisle 9? Your toddler’s there for you. When older kids run away from potentially embarrassing situations, your toddler is your number-one wingman.

2. Knee Hugs. Is there anything better than feeling little arms wrap around your knees when you least expect it? No one but a toddler can give a knee hug, and it’s hard to beat.

3. Naps. When toddlers are up, we’re on, which is why they’re not the only ones who need that afternoon nap to get through the rest of the day. Whether you can eek out a nap of your own or just take care of business while your little one is down, we can all agree that a toddler nap is pretty epic.

4. Laugh-Crying. Anyone who’s ever watched Steel Magnolias knows that the best emotion is when you start to laugh while you’re crying. And your toddler is a pro at it.

5. Snuggles. Toddlers are still small enough to hold, and there’s no place they’d rather be at the end of the day than snuggled up in your arms.

6. Five-Point Restraints. For real. When your toddler is losing her mind, it’s still perfectly acceptable to plug her into a stroller or car seat that still comes with a five-point restraint. Many a parent of a tween wishes they still had that capability.

7. Gift Euphoria. They don’t care if it’s an impossible-to-find electronic device. Toddlers are equally excited to receive a pack of stickers as they are an Amazon Fire. The pièce de résistance? The cardboard box their gift comes in.

8. Cabbage Knees. What is it about toddlers’ knees that makes them dimple like that? When you’re a toddler mom, you can tickle those cabbage knees any time you want.

9. That Top-of-Head Smell. Not to get all weird on you, but a toddler’s smell—especially after a bath—could be bottled and sold. When you’re a mom to a toddler, you get to sniff the tops of their clean heads as much as you want.

10. Children’s Books. When you have a toddler, you get to read happy books about everything interesting in the world.

11. Being a Place. Toddlers don’t see their moms as just people, if they recognize us as humans at all. Moms are places for them—safe places—to run to when something is wrong, or scary, or unfair. Just being there is important to them, and it’s such an uncomplicated gift to offer.

12. Watching a Sense of Humor Develop. When your baby becomes a toddler, their language and grasp of the world around them explode. You get to watch as their sense of humor develops out of so much perceived chaos, and giggle along with them.

13. Finding Your Tribe. There’s something about the bond of mothers navigating toddlerhood together that lasts. Whether it’s navigating new experiences or sharing the burden of carpools and creating incremental spaces of free time for one another, moms of toddlers find their people and stick with them.

“Can you ever imagine saying to your kid: ‘This is your last warning. If you run into oncoming traffic again, you’re losing your iPad for the week,'” says parenting expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy (known to the world as “Dr. Becky”) in a recent Instagram post. That scenario is ridiculous, and of course, you’d never react this way. “We would pick up our kids. We would not let them run into oncoming traffic again. So why do we set our kids up for failure and set ourselves up for frustration?”

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A post shared by Dr. Becky (@drbeckyatgoodinside)

Instead of warning our kids not to do the bad behavior again, Dr. Kennedy suggests that a better way to address the situation is to use the phrase: “I won’t let you.” For example, if your child is repeatedly throwing that ball, you’d say: “Hey you’re having a hard time having that ball and not throwing it inside the house. I am taking it; I am putting it away. In a little bit, we can go outside and throw the ball. I will not let you throw it in here again.” (You could sub in other things here, like removing a remote or plug, if there’s a TV battle, or the item of food or bowl they keep throwing.)

“I’m saying ‘I won’t let you‘ not because I want to be a dictator to my kid, but because I want to protect my kid from having another version of this bad behavior [and] feeling frustrated,” explains Dr. Kennedy. The “warnings” approach encourages that kind of endless loop. The “not letting” response, on the other hand, stops the behavior and also prevents you from having to enforce a punishment that you don’t want to—like taking away their iPad privileges (i.e., everyone loses).

“[The] alternative to warnings [is] embodying your authority, setting a boundary, and intervening earlier. It is better for everyone.” Does this mean you’ll always be 100 percent successful? Nope. Does it mean you’ll miraculously avoid a tantrum? Also no. But it’s definitely worth trying to save yourself another round of threats and additional disciplinary action.

There is nothing more frustrating than preparing meals for your little person and then they refuse to eat any of it!

I finally decided to find someone who could help me. My friend, the expert (also a daycare and preschool teacher for over 30 years), thankfully taught me a genius hack that completely changed what my toddler would try in a matter of days. Not only that, but this simple yet oh-so-smart game somehow made my picky kiddo think that trying new foods was so much fun.

How Do You Play?

Introduce the game at a family meal, like dinnertime, and be sure to have everyone play it. This way, your kid will be eager to partake by the time their turn rolls around.

Let’s say the new food is to try a piece of cucumber. Give everyone (parents included) a bite-sized piece. By making it the size of one toddler bite, you increase your chances of them actually eating it (and not spitting it back out).

Now, before starting to eat dinner, say, “Now we get to play the taste game.” The key is for you and any other adults to act very excited. Explain that everyone is going to try the same new food. “We are all going to try cucumber and decide what it tastes like.” Have a parent go first. Eat the food, make some funny faces, and describe the taste (cold, kind of crunchy, sour, sweet, etc.).

Related: 4 Things NOT to Say to a Picky Eater

Remember: fun and silly. Kids love to make silly faces and watch you do the same, so use this to your advantage. Ask questions about taste and texture. Is it sour? Is it crunchy? Also, ask silly questions like, “Does the beet taste pinkalicious or purple-y?”

Then, ask who is next. Your toddler might decide they want to go next. Another tactic that you can use is when you ask, “Who wants to go next?” and have the other parent get overly enthusiastic about going next. Then tell the parent they have to wait because it’s (toddler’s name) turn. This will make your toddler feel very special. Additionally, this game gives them positive attention from their parents. You all watch and wait to see what the child decides it tastes like.

Lastly, don’t force it. You might have to play the game a few times to get your toddler to want to partake. Start with foods they will sometimes eat for you, and then once they’re really into the game, go for harder ones. If need be, call in the reinforcements. Have the grandparents over and have them play the game with you. If your toddler idolizes an older kid or a friend, then have them come play the game, too. It’s amazing what a little peer pressure can do.

Before you know it, they’ll be eating and trying all kinds of foods. They might even remind you to play the game. My toddler now asks at dinner, “What new food are we trying?”

Why Does It Work?

It might seem like just a game, but what you’re actually doing is something that you probably do in other aspects of your parenting. With toddlers and little kids, a big part of parenting is helping them understand new experiences and the emotions that come along with them.

This game is the same thing. By playing it with them, you show them that everyone tries new foods. You react in all types of ways by making funny faces. When kids try a new food and aren’t too sure of the taste or texture, you want them to know that a range of responses is okay. Instead of only two outcomes—you either like the food or you don’t—you’re teaching them that the right response is whatever they feel.

So simple but ingenious because when the goal changes from getting them to like a new food to instead describing it, then it’s okay for it to be anything. Even gross.

But parenting expert Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta suggests you try something different to de-escalate the situation when your kid loses it on you—something that’ll work out better for everyone. “I want you to tend to what matters: What matters when your child is super upset is their upset, their regulation. The provocative words are a symptom of the dysregulation.”

@drchelsey_parenting

Replying to @Laura

♬ original sound – Dr. Chelsey HaugeZavaleta, PhD

Here are a few suggestions from Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta to recast the situation and respond to your child differently (in every case, saying less is key):

• “Wow—that’s really hard.”
• “You wish I was doing something different.”
•  Or respond in a mono-syllabic or guttural manner with words like, “ugh,” “yikes,” or “ouch.”

Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta explains that what you are trying to avoid is layering more words on top of the provocative moment. “Your child is in a part of the brain that does not process language very effectively.” Your instinct is to take that moment to teach your child other ways to respond more appropriately, but this is not the time for that lesson. If you counter with more words, you’ll likely be on the receiving end of further anger and shouting. Dr. Hauge-Zavaleta suggests that you make a plan to discuss this with your child when the upset has passed and they are more receptive to advice.

“When adults casually remark that a child seems to be driven by their emotions, they are usually quite correct,” explains Signe Whitson, LSW, in Psychology Today. Emotions are controlled by the body’s limbic system—specifically, the amygdala. “When the amygdala perceives any kind of danger, it directs the body to either fight the threat (e.g., through yelling, physical aggression), flee the situation (e.g., by running away, withdrawal), or freeze up (e.g., shutting down emotionally). Fight, flight, and freeze reactions are all brain-directed, instinctual responses, rather than purposeful, willful, or intentionally defiant acts.”

Kids reacting in these provocative ways tend to have less control over their behavior than parents think they do. Often, kids are acting out emotionally because they have not yet developed the language needed to talk about what is going on. While it might be difficult in the moment, parents should say less when their child’s emotions are running high and double back to discuss the interaction later.

@niky.mamamd

Drownings are 100% preventabld yet they are the NUMBER 1 leading cause of in children ages 1-4. Take the simple and necessary steps to ensure it does not happen to your kids. #childsafety #poolsafety #watersafety #drowning #drowningprevention #pediatrician #toddlersafety #safetytips

♬ Sunny Day – Smoked

Products to avoid:

1. Arm floaties: “These are made of vinyl, are filled with air, and go around the arms. It is so easy for a hole to form in these things and for them to pop when you are not even looking or for them to slip off the arms. They also keep kids in a vertical position, which is known as the ‘drowning position.’ It can give kids and parents a false sense of safety, which then turns into kids thinking they can jump into the pool without their floaties (thinking that they can swim).”
2. Puddle jumpers: All the same reasons as the arm floaties. “They put your kids in the drowning position, they don’t teach your kids how to swim, and they give kids and parents a false sense of security.”
3. Baby neck floaties: “This is an aerosol plastic tube, which is never 100% reliable. [It] goes around your baby’s neck. This is something that your baby can really slip out of. And just to follow a really simple rule of thumb, let’s avoid anything that goes around the neck for an infant or toddler. That includes amber teething necklaces and regular necklaces. It is way too easy for these things to cause strangulation.”
4. Mermaid tails: “Please do not put anything on your child that confines their legs or arms. I don’t care how strong of a swimmer they are; all four limbs must be loose so that they can swim safely.”
5. Blue bathing suits: While these can be okay to use at splash pads or around the yard, the blue color makes it hard to spot your kid when they’re in a pool or other body of water. Instead, choose a brightly colored swimming suit so you can always keep an eye on your little ones.

The main tip that @niki.mamaMD wants you to remember is never to take your eyes off your kids in the pool. Often, drownings occur when there are plenty of people around, and everyone assumes someone is watching the kids. It’s also important to sign up your kids for swimming lessons at a young age and establish protective fencing and extra door locks if your home has a pool. Increasing awareness about water safety is the first step to decreasing the number of drownings.

While you might think a nutritionist would have kids who grow up choosing green beans over French fries, Jess Ferrari-Wells shared a reel lamenting how her toddler and big kid turn their noses up at all things veggie. So, taking a note from celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, the nutritionist instituted a brilliant new way to offer produce to her kids that seems to be working (this week, at least).

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A post shared by Nutritional Therapist | Women’s Health and Hormones | Mum Life (@jessicaferrariwells)

Instead of trying to trick her kiddos into eating them, Ferrari-Wells simply places a plate of carrot sticks, red bell pepper slices, and cucumber sticks on the table. She doesn’t mention them, and she doesn’t encourage her kids to eat them. They are just there when she’s serving the meal. The first day, neither of her kids touched the veggies. On the second day, one of her kids nibbled a carrot. But by the fifth day, both kids were eating them all.

“So I really think it shows that when you keep offering something and it becomes more and more familiar and there’s no pressure, well it seems to be working,” Ferrari-Wells explains of her experiment. “I know everything’s a phase with kids and I’m sure next week it will be back to ignoring, but I just wanted to share because I think it’s been really positive and it might be something you could try, too.”

This supports the idea that removing the pressure around food gets kids to try new foods on their own. It is also helpful to continue offering non-preferred foods even after kids reject them. Studies have shown that repeated exposure to unfamiliar foods increases their acceptability among toddlers, and this can take 10 or more tries.

Parents in the comments offered other ideas for getting kids to eat their greens. One said that the quickest way to get her toddlers to try something new is by putting it on her own plate rather than theirs—and any toddler parent knows that our meals are always more enticing to our tots and their grabby little hands. Another mom said that she grew up with this idea of having veggie sticks available while dinner was being cooked, and as an adult, she’s still conditioned to munch on a few pieces of veg before mealtime.

Toddlers can go from loving a food one day to despising it the next, so it’s a bit of a crapshoot whether this method will work with your little one. But it’s fairly low effort and definitely worth a shot. Besides, if no one touches their veggie sticks tonight, you can easily pack them up for tomorrow and try again!

1. Plan a scavenger hunt. Whether you pull a pre-organized list off the internet or create your own, enjoy watching your toddler expend some serious energy while hunting for one item after another.

Our favorite way to wear them out is simple: Number ten squares of paper and take a close-up photo of the area where it’s hidden. These should be recognizable but make them think—sticking out from under doormats with bright patterns, underneath dog bowls, or in dad’s shoe are all good spots. Then let your kid flip through one image at a time on your photo roll as they collects each of the squares of paper. Once they’re all found, they can be traded for a prize (or not).  This works especially well for kids who are non-readers because the photos are easy clues (and what toddler doesn’t know how to work an iPhone)?

2. Play hopscotch. Between drawing the board with chalk on your driveway, numbering the squares, finding the perfect rock, and then hopping through a few rounds, this is a solid bet. Add some super silly sections between numbers, like a spiral to show they have to spin in a circle or a line that measures how far they can jump. Try it in the morning when the heat hasn’t set in. They’ll play for longer and burn more energy.

3. Host a bubble dance party. What could be easier than turning on the bubble machine paired with kid-friendly tunes and letting the kids dance, dance, dance the day away. Let them shake their thing or add a freeze dance challenge if they need some extra laughs.

Related: Spotify Playlists for Babies & Toddlers Parents Will Actually Enjoy

4. Make homemade ice cream. I know. Sugar. Kids. Doesn’t seem like the best way to tire them out, right? But with nothing but two Ziploc bags, heavy whipping cream, sugar (or fruit), ice, and rock salt—and the most important ingredient here: elbow grease—you can make it happen. Just place the ice cream ingredients into a smaller bag, then place that bag inside of a larger one that’s filled with ice and a handful of rock salt. Then shake, shake, shake to create their (and your) new favorite treat.

5. Make a mess with shaving cream. Whether you’re inside (stick to the bathroom in this case) or outside, shaving cream is an easy and inexpensive way to have sensory play. Let them paint on their legs, give themselves mustaches, or even fill a baby pool with it to squish between their toes. It’s easy to wipe off and wash out in a bathtub.

6. Make bird feeders using peanut butter (or sun butter), pine cones, and bird food. Tie a string to the bottom of the pine cone and hang it from a tree that’s easy to see from inside. For older kids, keep a log of every type of bird you see and make a chart of which ones visit most.

7. Play in a mud-kitchen. Even if you don’t have an official mud kitchen, you make one on the fly. Fill a kiddie swimming pool with a few scoops of dirt, turn on the hose, and make mud. Add a couple of construction trucks and you’re on the verge of hours of messy, happy play.

8. Let them build anything they want out of cardboard boxes. To amp up the fun, give them tissue paper, glue, and other found objects to decorate.

9. Paint rocks. Turn them into ladybugs, the Earth, hearts, or load them up with abstract designs. Then send your kid(s) out into the yard to find the rocks a perfect home. Or go big by hiding them around the neighborhood. The extra walking should help tucker them out.

10. Play freeze tag. The person who is “it” tries to tag the others. Once you’ve been tagged, you have to stand (frozen in the position you were in when you were tagged) until another “untagged” person can tag you to free you.

11. Fill small, handheld water pistols with diluted non-toxic paint. Let them shoot their pistols at a canvas (or perhaps, a shower curtain) to create awesome abstract art.

12. Have a water balloon fight. Now that it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get a serious pile of water balloons filled, adding this to your toddler outdoor activities list is easy. Fill ’em up and have fun tossing them at each other or just lobbing them into the yard. Even better? Cleaning up the pieces will tire them out just as much as throwing them did.

13. Freeze small objects (matchbox cars, doll shoes, marbles, keys, etc.) in bowls of ice. Let the bowl sit in a lukewarm bath to loosen the block of ice, then turn it out onto a cookie sheet. Encourage them to be ice archaeologists, chipping away with spoons and forks to reveal what’s frozen inside. This is especially fun to do in the afternoon when it’s too hot to run around but you still need some outdoor activities. A set of gloves will help keep hands from getting too cold.

14. Go on a bike ride. Break out that balance bike and put some miles on it between dinner and bath time. We guarantee an easy bedtime for your little cyclist.

Related: The Best Bath Toys, According to Amazon Parents

15. Wash your car or your dog or their outdoor ride-on toys. Toddlers love a good soap bucket, rag, and hose—not to mention a sense of accomplishment.

16. For the littlest artists, provide cotton balls, a bowl of water, and construction paper for lots of easy and mess-free entertainment. They’ll love dipping the cotton balls into the water, squeezing them out, and making designs. The trick here is to keep them from over-saturating the paper to the point of tearing—which is no fun for anyone.

17. Set up a tent in the backyard, build a “fire pit,” and pretend to be on a campout.

18. Create an obstacle course and time them as they complete it. Simple obstacles work best, so look for a tree to race around and back, set up some outdoor pillow cushions to jump over, draw a start and finish line with chalk for tricycle or scooter racing, and incorporate climbing and going down a slide in your back yard.

19. Have your little one stay in character when you play a quick game of animal charades. No prep necessary for this easy guessing game. Just pick your favorite animal and go for it. With each successful guess, trade places and start again. Ee-i-ee-i-o!

20. Have a superhero showdown. You might be ducking to avoid Batman’s (imaginary) gadgets and Spidey’s web all afternoon but the nonstop giggle-fest will be worth the effort.

21. Use windows as a creative space. Give your kids brushes and spray bottles, and watch them paint, clear, and paint again. Washing windows was never so much fun. Don’t forget your squeegee.

22. Catch lightning bugs. If you can. Watch them twinkle in a glass jar (remember to poke holes in the lid) filled with grass.

23. Climb, swing, and slide at a local playground. Nothing says “get that energy out” quite like a local playground. Plan to spend an hour at yours before heading home for bath, stories, and lights out.

1. Acknowledge (and Name) Their Feelings

The Situation: My daughter and I have spent a lot of time at the playground recently. If it were up to her, she’d play all day. Eventually, we have to go pick up a sibling from school or have lunch, or do something else. She’s disappointed we have to go and isn’t afraid to show it. Cue the toddler tantrum.

The Solution: Julietta Skoog, nationally certified school psychologist and co-founder of Sproutable, a company that supports parents in growing remarkable kids through classes, coaching, and video content, explains that tantrums are a form of communication—one that lets parents know their kids don’t feel understood. She suggests validating and acknowledging those feelings. Use simple phrases like “I can see you’re disappointed” or “I know you want to stay at the playground.” Neurologically speaking, when our kids are losing it, their feelings are on red alert. Naming their feeling triggers the amygdala (the part of our brain that processes emotions) and helps kids flip the switch to green. It reassures them, lets them regroup, and returns them to the rational side of their brain.

Bonus tip: If possible, let your kid have a situational do-over after they’ve recovered, like saying “bye-bye” to the playground.

2. Model Behavior

The Situation: I’ve had more than one night where I’m juggling making dinner while helping my big kids with homework when my toddler melts down. Whether she’s hungry, not getting enough attention, or just feels overwhelmed, she’s had enough and I’m feeling stretched.

The Strategy: Dr. Alison Scott, a Seattle-area pediatrician, offers a great reminder for situations like these. Toddlers don’t have the coping skills we do. Scott suggests parents show kids how it’s done by modeling appropriate behavior. Try saying something like, “I see you’re having a hard time. I’m having a hard time, too.” Then take a few deep breaths or find a quiet place to sit down. Basically, do what you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Your kids will notice and eventually follow suit.

Related: 6 Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Toddler

3. Let Them Know What They Can Do

The Situation: If you know a toddler, you know how wildly stubborn they are. When my daughter wants to play with her sister’s off-limits toys or insists on going barefoot in the middle of winter, she’s not interested in being told “no.”

The Strategy: For these moments, Skoog explains that framing the situation as a positive—one you can say yes to—is a way to be firm but kind. So when my toddler melts down because her sister won’t let her play with her doll, a simple re-frame is in order: “Yes, you want to play dolls. Let’s go get your dolls so you can.” Similarly, letting her know “we can go outside when you’ve put your shoes on,” helps her see what she can do, rather than what she can’t.

Bonus tip: Be selective about saying no and don’t give in to tantrums because it might reinforce unwanted behavior.

4. Remove Yourself or Your Audience

The Situation: If you haven’t had a toddler lose it in public, are you even a parent? For all the times I’ve been in the toy aisle at Target and my daughter spies a must-have toy I have no intention of buying, the tantrum potential is high. It’s hard not to give in when you know it would stop that toddler tantrum.

The Strategy: Scott recommends an “extract and distract” approach. Skoog expands, saying parents can remove themselves from the environment or ask those they’re with to give them a minute. Finding a more private place lets kids know that you’ve got time and space to deal with whatever is going on. Once you’re out of the situation, it’s time to redirect or offer comfort. The goal here is “connection before correction.” Try softening your approach and getting down on the same level as your kiddo for extra impact.

Bonus tip: It’s natural to view our tot’s tantrums as a reflection of our parenting. But tantrums are a natural part of development, and when we remove our feelings from the situation, we can be more responsive, attentive, and attuned to what’s really going on.

5. Be Consistent with Routines

The Situation: Like all kids, toddlers love routine. But with two much-older kids, there are days my two-year-old doesn’t get to follow hers. She misses naps or stays up past bedtime on the regular, thanks so the noisy tween and teen down the hall.

The Strategy: If you have to disrupt the routine, be prepared. Watch for your kid’s cues, Scott says, and try to prevent the outburst. Pack extra snacks, bring along a lovey, or try to distract toddlers on the verge. The bottom line is, there’s no “secret sauce” to prevention. In that case, ignoring the tantrum is an option. Make sure your tot is safe and let it take its course.

Mom Kelsey Pomeroy, who goes by @kelsewhatelse on TikTok, explained that her family does beach days differently—she called it the “backwards beach day,” and we think it’s pretty clever. The basics are that you switch up your day to maximize your toddler’s prime morning hours and visit the beach in the afternoon instead.

@kelsewhatelse

This might seem obvious to beach locals, but for those of us who did not grow up near the beach and also live very far away from the beach, “backwards beach days” is a new idea! I used to hate taking my small children to the beach. Taking a baby and a toddler to the beach might seem like an easy day out for many people, not for me. All of the gear, all of the sweat, all of the sand, the crowds, and then trying to go out to eat later when your kids are exhausted and overstimulated and all of the restaurants are crowded. There were just so many things that I didn’t like about it. Until one day when it occurred to me that I could just do the beach the way I want to do it and I came up with a plan that avoided all the things I didn’t like about going to the beach with small children while keeping all the things that I loved about it. This might seem silly to people who live near the beach, but for those of us who live 15 hours from it and have to dedicate an entire vacation to it, it almost seems sacrilegious to not wake up and immediately go to the beach. It feels like you’re missing out on the whole purpose of your vacation. So I had to remind myself that the purpose of my vacation, is to have a vacation! So I need to do it the way that is best for our family. And for small kids, it makes a lot of sense to just do the day backwards to what most people do for a beach day. I know depending on what beach you go to, a night time visit may not be the best idea. Tides and waves work differently in different places, but where we go in Florida it’s the perfect time to visit for us. Backwards Beach days have truly saved the beach vacation for us. . . . . . #kelsewhatelse #backwardsbeachdays

♬ original sound – KelseWhatElse

Here are the steps Pomeroy laid out:

1. Wake up slowly. No rushing out the door to beat the crowds. Watch TV or read books to ease into your day. Enjoy your coffee even!
2. Do something fun while everyone is well-rested. Capitalize on the fact that your child will likely wake up in a good mood to get some activities done in the morning, like going to the library, playing a game, or spending some time at the park. “Everything we would typically do in the afternoon on a beach vacation we do in the morning while our kids are still well rested and not overstimulated, but we capitalize on those great moods,” shares Pomeroy.
3. Eat lunch at home or go out to lunch to take advantage of the fact that lunch crowds are likely smaller, and the prices are cheaper at lunch than at dinner. Plus, you don’t have to worry about your kid dropping their sandwich in the sand or getting it snatched by a seagull.
4. Nap time. “Because my two-year-old wasn’t sandy or sweaty or lotion-y, I could put him down for a quick nap while I had work time,” Pomeroy explains. Plus, no fighting a toddler to head home for a nap when everyone is still having fun at the beach.
5. Head to the beach. “When my two-year-old wakes up from a nap he is in the worst mood, so that is when we head to the beach. Nothing cures a toddler’s mood like sand and water. We’re going to stay at the beach for a few hours until dinnertime. Three to 6 p.m. could be like the witching hours with small children. I don’t want to be in a restaurant right now; I want to be on the beach. ‘Backwards beach days’ mean less crowded beaches and less sun exposure you have to worry about.”
6. Head home. “And then like a visual representation that the beach is closing, we could say goodbye to the setting sun and head for home. Getting the sand off of them is easy because you have a bedtime bath anyway.”

We can’t believe we didn’t think of this brilliant switch earlier!