Have your nights been hijacked by a toddler who refuses to go to bed? You’re not alone. These little humans hate to see a fun day come to a close, and they’re experts at stalling (Another sip of water? Really?!). One way to help keep the bedtime train on the tracks is to set up and stick to a consistent bedtime routine. Toddlers love predictability, and walking them through the same steps every night helps them wind down and feel secure. Luckily, pediatrician dad and sleep whiz Dr Golly (creator of the Toddler Sleep Program) shared his top tips for perfecting your routine—and getting some precious “me time” back each evening.
1. Consistency is key when it comes to your toddler’s bedtime routine.
Yup, multiple sleep medicine reviews agree that a consistent bedtime routine can have huge benefits for toddlers. We see better sleep (longer stretches, fewer wake-ups, earlier bedtimes), improved development (language, literacy, emotional regulation), and even more positive family functioning. Toddlers love routines and rituals—once they become habit, they’re rarely challenged.
Routines give children structure, reduce anxiety, and remove the “what’s next?” worry at the end of the day. Plus, when your child knows exactly what happens before bed, they’re less likely to push boundaries—because mom and dad are consistent.
2. Visual Bedtime Routines are easiest for toddlers to understand.
A visual schedule is simply your evening routine presented in pictures—think of a chart or sequence of images showing each step. It’s something that toddlers of all ages and language abilities can easily follow.
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The benefits are huge:
- Clear expectations = more cooperation
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- Easier transitions between activities
- Improved understanding of time and sequencing
- A boost in independence and self-esteem
- Support for literacy if you add words to the pictures
Dr Golly especially loves charts that toddlers can interact with—folding up a card, ticking off with a whiteboard marker, or adding a sticker for each step. And remember, these kinds of visual sequences can work wonders in other areas too, like morning routines or even just the steps to getting dressed.
3. Consistency is key, but you’ll also want to keep things upbeat.
Wherever you are and whoever’s looking after your child, the steps of your bedtime routine should be the same. But it’s also super helpful to remember that this shouldn’t be a tense or negative exercise. Dr Golly stresses three ways to keep things light:
Be patient: These are new skills, and toddlers may need verbal and physical guidance at first.
Track small wins: Let them mark off each task with stickers or ticks.
Use positive reinforcement: Praise, rewards, or a star chart can help. Maybe a little prize for one night completed, and a bigger reward for five nights in a row!
4. Dr Golly’s ideal bedtime routine consists of eight steps.
Every family’s steps will be different—some may include prayer, eczema cream, or even small household chores for older toddlers. But his standard routine, which works for most families, goes like this:
- Eat dinner
- Bath
- PJs
- Brush teeth
- Toilet
- Book
- Kiss and cuddle
- Sleep (ideally independently)
You can download a free copy of Dr Golly’s Toddler Bedtime routine here.
5. Stick to the same order every night (well, as much as possible—these are toddlers, after all).
The routine works best if it follows the steps in the same sequence each night. That being said, it’s not a disaster if your toddler goes to the toilet before brushing their teeth. Aim for a natural order that suits your household.
6. Avoid screens well before bedtime.
Dr Golly doesn’t recommend any screen time in the two hours before bed. The goal is to keep things calm and help your toddler wind down.
7. When things have gone sideways, prioritize your bedtime.
Both the actual time you put your child to bed and the routine itself matter, but if you have to choose, a consistent bedtime is more important than squeezing in every step of the routine. Don’t push bedtime back just to fit it all in. If you’re short on time, move through the steps a little quicker—without rushing—so everyone stays relaxed.
8. You don’t have to use the visual bedtime chart forever.
Most families use it for a few weeks until habits form. Then it becomes part of everyday life. If things go off track (which is totally normal), you can bring it back out to reinforce expectations.
Want more advice like this?
If your tot won’t fall asleep without you, you’re far from the exception—this is very common. Dr Golly’s Toddler Sleep Program has all the gentle strategies to help your child develop healthy, independent sleep habits, so you can have your evenings back
